The 10 worst things about having sex… in a hostel

by Anna Breslaw

black-couple happy in bed

 A limited number of positions and very good possibility you will whack yourself on the head in a loft bed. Proof that we need to come up with more sex positions that can be executed when you and your partner are two feet away from the ceiling.

1. Making sure your roommate will be gone. And not just “maybe gone,” or “going to the dining hall for half an hour and when I get back I expect you not to be having sex in our room.”

2. Or at the very least, making sure your roommate is sleeping. But don’t do this, because #karma is #real.

3. Or having your roommate bang a dude while they think you’re sleeping. See? Sucks, doesn’t it.

4. Thin walls. Because you are paying tens of thousands of dollars’ tuition for everyone to hear everyone’s business.

5. People right outside your door. This is when the kid with the septum piercing who sits in the hallway for hours playing “Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life)” becomes TWICE as annoying.

6. If you’re in a frat house, guys will try to listen in. Gross.

7. Not having a nightstand to turn into a vibrator/condom/misc. sex accountrement drawer. Even the reach into the nightstand for a condom sort of breaks the mood — let alone having to go across the room and rummage in your desk.

8. Squeaky bedsprings and no headboard. Nothing to grip.

9. Sharing a twin bed with someone means you will get the worst sleep of your life. You are folded around each other like the least comfortable origami ever. Every time your partner moves a tiny bit, it will disrupt your sleep. You can practically hear them DREAMING.

10. Um, you haven’t done your laundry in 4 weeks so no clean underwear for after? Not a thing? For anyone but me? Cool.

Bonus: A limited number of positions and very good possibility you will whack yourself on the head in a loft bed. Proof that we need to come up with more sex positions that can be executed when you and your partner are two feet away from the ceiling.

———————————

Read more in Cosmopolitan

 

Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.

Leave a reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

cool good eh love2 cute confused notgood numb disgusting fail