The boy who cried wolf – and more, in today’s news round-up with Cheta Nwanze

by Cheta Nwanze

vIEWING-cENTRES1

While people were dying in Damaturu, 1144 km from there, almost 500 others are still singing hymns at a military dungeon in Aba. In order to justify holding the 478 men and 8 women, a khaki parrot has informed us that a #BokoHaram “kingpin” is amongst their number.

Yesterday, at a football viewing centre at Ayodele Street, Kilo, Surulere, Lagos, a boy walked in with a crate-sized carton and sat among other football fans. While they were enjoying the Brazil-Mexico game, he screamed, “bomb”. Suffice to say that the Viewing Centre emptied in 3 seconds flat. It turned out to be a hoax, and unfortunately for the prankster, he was caught. Let’s just say that he has an extra eye at the moment.

But the denizens of Kilo should count themselves slightly more fortunate than their fellow footie fans 1500 km away in Damaturu, Yobe State. During the same game, someone, not a prankster, did go into a viewing centre, and detonated a device. God rest the dead.

While people were dying in Damaturu, 1144 km from there, almost 500 others are still singing hymns at a military dungeon in Aba. In order to justify holding the 478 men and 8 women, a khaki parrot has informed us that a #BokoHaram “kingpin” is amongst their number. First, we must accept that the military have to up their game in these, trying times, which will mean quite a bit of inconvenience for the rest of us. However, such inconveniencing behaviours must be handled with competence and professionalism. Why has no one given us the name of this “kingpin”? Why has no one given us a picture? Was he on some wanted list somewhere before this, err, fortuitous arrest? Most importantly, now that a well known figure in Port Harcourt has come out to say that these people were on their way to him, why has no one invited this well known figure to come and ascertain the identities of these people?

But then, one of the problems of this, err, geographical expression, has always been in implementation. Thus it was that generator and motorcycle repairmen stormed Baba Fash’s office yesterday to complain about being constantly picked up by various uniforms while going about looking for their daily amala. I can tell them for free that the harassment will not stop. Guys, the harassment will not stop.

Bits and Bobs

This weekend, while masochists like me will be preparing for Papa Eagles’ 0-6 loss to the Dragons of Bosnia, Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, Ekiti edition will be taking place. Preparations are in top gear by all sides. You can update yourself here and here.
One must take a bit of time to commend the Prez for this initiative regarding the blighted north-east of our land. Let’s hope that his subordinates will not, as they tend to do, contrive to mess it up and make him look bad.

Akodogbo, 32, loved, and would never hurt, his neighbour’s 7-year-old girl in Badagry; so he used his finger.
Tired of being at home, for 11 months, the National Association of Polytechnic Students has given the government 2 weeks to recall teachers.

Final two gems courtesy of Chinedu Ozordi.

Right of Reply

Chinedu Okorro wrote,

Be happy that you only lost 90 minutes of your time. I am currently in a country with a timezone of GMT+4. The match kicked off at 2300 local time and I had to pay about 5000 Naira for the pleasure of watching the Eagles play like novices to the game of football against a limited and unambitious Iranian side. This is not the African Cup of Nations where we can mess up our first match against the group’s weakest team and then pull a rabbit out of the hat. We have Argentina and Serbia yet to come. I think they should start booking their flights home.

Joseph Omon wrote,

I am very happy that you are not joinging the bandwagon of lazy mainstream journalist that have chosen to report this inhumanity that can lead to massive conflagration in this fragile state of ours. The government should as a matter of urgent national interest stop the branding of all northerners as bokoharm. Mass arrests like these are wrong and should be strongly condemned as it can lead to wide spread crisis. The army has to become more intelligent and do its job better versus mass arrests as this could color the bokoharam threat as a northern one. We have Christians in the north.

That said, i am forced to ask some more questions about the recently found bombs in a church in owerri – why another APC state? The current situation in which states with APC leadership are the poster children for terrorism is worrisome. Is the boko haram concept another machination of the PDP to discredit states with APC leadership? Or are APC governed states easier targets due to their Islamic laden leadership? It behoves the Nigerian media to carry out some investigative journalism to find out if there is more to what meets the eyes on Boko Haram.

May the Good Lord keep us as one peaceful country.

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Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.

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