It’s no news that Nigerian patients can be trying. Doctors on Nigerian Twitter are swapping hilarious anecdotes and dispensing advice to their #DearPatient(s). If you are guilty of these blunders, desist. If you know any persons who are guilty of these blunders, do them a favour and share.
Hear ye! Hear ye!
Me: So your child was it via Vaginal delivery or C/S?
Patient: It was by the grace of God doctor
Me:…. pic.twitter.com/ZlNNeDwH9Y— Adult Gambino (@SickSage_) October 30, 2016
#Dearpatient please go straight to the point.
400l clinical posting:
Me: So why are you here today?
Patient: 10years ago, I had a dream… pic.twitter.com/lq2GotYvax— Yarinya™ (@Asabe_Maiyaki) October 30, 2016
#dearpatient pls don't use toothpaste to clean your baby's umbilical cord nd no engine oil isn't good either
— IG – ms_tolu1 (@towwluu) October 30, 2016
#dearpatient Sometimes headache is just hunger, not brain tumor! https://t.co/5LMSKV0FqM
— Sabeeha Hussain ? (@beehatu) October 30, 2016
Me – first of all#dearpatient – go down low
Me – pic.twitter.com/bOzpkKw8hP
— Onny (@Ogbanje_) October 31, 2016
Me..GCS of my #dearpatient is 8/15
Conso… Are u sure?
Me..yes
Conso.. Ahmed!! Ahmed!!
Ptx..morning sir
Me.. pic.twitter.com/NsF3EwHTFk— Sasori (@ashraf4lyf) October 30, 2016
#DearPatient please it's dangerous to lie to your doctor. How can you be claiming virgin when your scan says 8 weeks pregnant?
— Dick Dastardly (@TheSagachristos) October 30, 2016
#dearpatient Eating sugar or sweet things doesn't cause pile! Pile/heamorrhoid is protrusion of anal cushions
— Phara (@Pharamzy) October 31, 2016
#DearPatient
Me: Pls you'll need to do some tests
Patient: Every time test, kilode?
Me: Shey I should just recite incantations for you then? pic.twitter.com/S5U2C3R3m4— Dick Dastardly (@TheSagachristos) October 30, 2016
10-hr surgery, patient recuperates n goes home, doesn't come to clinic, buys pastor a jeep. #DearPatient pic.twitter.com/qEAxRrlENH
— Oluwatobi + (@leavemejor) October 31, 2016
#DearPatient
Me: So how long have you had this ulcer
Patient: 12 yrs!??
Me: So why are you just coming?
P: The agbo is no more working
Me: pic.twitter.com/bMebfv7lSw— Dick Dastardly (@TheSagachristos) October 30, 2016
#dearpatient check your genotype. AS don't marry AS. Your child will suffer it and not you! The consequences are DIRE and TERRIBLE!!!???
— Tamilore (@tarmeegirl) October 30, 2016
#DearPatient Hypertension&Diabetes are managed not cured. Don't stop your meds.
— ? (@TheGrandVezir) October 30, 2016
https://twitter.com/sleeknigguh_J/status/793092823503474688
#DearPatient We don't enjoy constantly pricking you either, we are just trying to help you get better.
— Cassandra Ikegbune (@cassie_daves) October 30, 2016
#DearPatient when you lie to your doctor that you don't smoke or take alcohol and he manages you for ulcer instead of liver cancer pic.twitter.com/rrSo99dRWC
— Dick Dastardly (@TheSagachristos) October 30, 2016
#DearPatient you can see DR boldly written on my coat, don't call me a nurse except you're meant to be at the eye clinic instead.
— Cassandra Ikegbune (@cassie_daves) October 30, 2016
#DearPatient when I ask what the problem is, go straight to the point pls. What's my business with how 419 scammed you in 1999? pic.twitter.com/WzE6wVhP4X
— Dick Dastardly (@TheSagachristos) October 30, 2016
#DearPatient
Doctors are not in cahoots with the devil, stop giving testimonies that God shamed the doctors and the devil— Ayòmídé Joe (@Ayomidejoe) October 30, 2016
#DearPatient not every female in the hospital is Aunty nurse. We have female doctors too
— Dick Dastardly (@TheSagachristos) October 30, 2016
Cray, cray.
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