You would think that people know what the code of conduct is when it pertains to those who are mourning: say your brief condolences/prayers/well wishes for the family and go, right? Apparently not.

Chioma Jesus who tweets @Anxta_ is unhappy about it, and with good reason.

Kindly see below:

Most Nigerians SWEAR that they're the most sympathetic of all the creatures God made but some people are just downright insensitive.

— chioma jesus (@Anxta_) September 26, 2016

These last couple of months, so many tragic things have happened such as 2 of my friends losing a parent each, my amputation and my friend's

— chioma jesus (@Anxta_) September 26, 2016

father's shop burning and in light of these events, I've seen various forms of sympathy by various people.

— chioma jesus (@Anxta_) September 26, 2016

I noticed that there are actually people who come to sympathize genuinely and others who come to "see,confirm and spread" the bad news.

— chioma jesus (@Anxta_) September 26, 2016

Of the above two categories, there are some people who just don't know when to talk and when to shut the hell up. I'll give examples.

— chioma jesus (@Anxta_) September 26, 2016

A: I lost my mum.
B: Omg. I'm sorry. Wow. God please protect my loved ones oh.

Uhmmm, what the hell is that? If you want to pray for your

— chioma jesus (@Anxta_) September 26, 2016

loved one, do it at your own time yeah? Because I don't understand whether such persons don't have sense.

— chioma jesus (@Anxta_) September 26, 2016

Another scenario:
A: I lost my mum.
B: oh wow. So sorry abt that. Just like when my house got burnt… (and B will proceed to talk abt his

— chioma jesus (@Anxta_) September 26, 2016

or herself for the next 20mins).
Excuse me, if your story does not in anyway intend to comfort the grieving person, just shut up. It's not

— chioma jesus (@Anxta_) September 26, 2016

ABOUT YOU. My God.

— chioma jesus (@Anxta_) September 26, 2016

Or was it when I'm had my amputation and someone legit came to visit & said "your waka waka caused this oh"God please protect my family"

— chioma jesus (@Anxta_) September 26, 2016

I was shocked. As per God was not protecting me that was why I had the accident nau. I spent the next 2 days after that sad&full of doubt

— chioma jesus (@Anxta_) September 26, 2016

in God.

— chioma jesus (@Anxta_) September 26, 2016

What I'm just trying to say is that, if you're among those who have ZERO filter, SAY YOUR SORRY AND GO. Better still, send a text abeg

— chioma jesus (@Anxta_) September 26, 2016

and don't come and add to the grieving person's sadness. Because I've embarrassed your type before and I don't think sensible people will

— chioma jesus (@Anxta_) September 26, 2016

mind embarrassing you. Don't disgrace yourself.

— chioma jesus (@Anxta_) September 26, 2016

ALSO, you have NO right to tell a person how to grieve. If such person wants to roll on the ground, LET HIM ROLL ON THE GROUND. Its nt abt u

— chioma jesus (@Anxta_) September 26, 2016

Just remembered when a friend of mine was grieving and was wailing and she looked so disheveled and red and a visitor legit told her to rub

— chioma jesus (@Anxta_) September 26, 2016

powder so she'll look presentable. Trust me to walk the visitor out. Like is your suit alright? Are you okay? Someone is grieving and you're

— chioma jesus (@Anxta_) September 26, 2016

talking about appearance. OKAY KIM KARDASHIAN.

— chioma jesus (@Anxta_) September 26, 2016

In summary, if you don't have anything to say to bring a little bit of comfort or joy to the person, shut up. Don't cause more sadness.

— chioma jesus (@Anxta_) September 26, 2016

Peace and Love.

— chioma jesus (@Anxta_) September 26, 2016

 

If you have not learnt anything from the thread above, this one is particularly instructive: When somebody is grieving, it is about them and not about you, so let them be. And keep your unsolicited two cents to yourself.