by Wilfred Okiche
We recently brought you our list of the best albums of 2013. Now it is time to flip the script and present the 10 most dissapointing efforts of the year. Some were massively hyped, others were heralded as the best deal since Adele dropped ‘21’. Whatever the case, they all flopped. Critically more than commercially.
These 10 discs were the biggest flops of 2013. In ascending order.
10) Magna Carta Holy Grail- Jay-Z
Only weeks ago, Jay-Z’s wife Mrs Carter schooled him on how to leverage on talent, influence and goodwill (plus no hype) to put out a platinum selling album. Jay-Z may have scored a million copies sold thanks to a deal with Samsung but disappointed buyers soon discovered the disc was a self-serving bore. We’ll just pretend we did not hear him urge Miley Cyrus to twerk.
9 ) Artpop- Lady Gaga
Whatever happened to Lady Gaga? From the biggest pop star/provocateur in the world to the biggest yawn inducer in about a year. ‘Artpop’ was supposed to be her big comeback but she took herself 10 times too seriously and the album suffered for it. No applause.
8) Once upon a time- Tiwa Savage
Yes we waited forever for Ms Savage’s debut but did it live up to our expectations? No. we’ve said this before and we’ll say it again; At 21 songs, there are just too many fillers, too much autotune, too much Don Jazzy and an over dependence on the gloss. One has to dig deep to find the real substance. It plays like Ms Savage is just pandering, surrendering to market dictates while throwing a bit of her true self in between.
7) Chapter one- May D
The album has nothing to offer as to who May D is as a human being or as an artiste. He assumes party songs, hip hop beats and collaborations with some of the biggest acts and producers are enough to usher him into the big leagues. He thought wrong.
6) Me, my mouth and eye- Sound Sultan
It is easy to see how this album could have been excellent, maybe even great. A lot of cutting and sniping would have done all the magic. ‘Me, my mouth and eye’ just keeps firing blandly with no clear defining purpose, hoping that something, anything will stick. Unfortunately not much does.
5) Take over- Kcee
Kcee had two of the biggest singles of the year. He also has one of the weakest albums. He calls it ‘Take over’ but he isn’t prepared to take over anything that is not Top 10 radio. And the clubs. We can’t say we are surprised though.
4) The Journey- LKT
‘The Journey’ doesn’t do much for LKT. While his efforts at doing pop music in his indigenous language are commendable, the album falls short, repeatedly sounding like early-career 9ice. There is a distinct lack of the wit or energy that has made the likes of Olamide and Reminisce major crossover stars and the audience comes out of the experience feeling mildly frustrated.
3) Grace and glory- Solid star
There are no greater aspirations to ‘Grace and glory’- apart from boring the listening public with another dead on arrival album. Making a reductive, repetitive album and applying a style that has been done to death by the current litter of pop stars hardly stands anyone apart. Anyone with access to in demand producers, guest appearances and a vague knowledge of today’s music scene will make exactly the same record Solid Star has presented. No guts. No grace. No glory.
2) Baddest guy ever liveth- Olamide
Olamide’s baroque, redundant unnecessary follow up to last year’s equally afflicted ‘YBNL’ made all the right noises prior to release. Massive first single, ingenious marketing campaign encapsulated in the viral gun man pose. Only drawback? The album was not up to scratch.
1) Iyanya vs Desire
After discovering new found fame, Iyanya’s heart is on the dancefloor. He just wants to make people dance. Nothing wrong with such aspirations but no one says dance music has to be as lazy or meaningless or mind-numbingly repetitive as what is on offer here.
Self-criticism. Been worried about my Tiwa hating recently. Like I should show love. Show love to a sister who is believing, hustling, and making it. Tiwa, much love. I listened again to her album. I didn’t dislike it much. Though by the bonus tracks, I was upset again. Kele kele, ok. Then I finally heard the rest of don’t leave without my heart. Hmm, maybe I’ll get used to even that someday. Anyhow I got used to Tiwa Savage’s music like I got used to the food at my cafeteria at work/school. It doesn’t kill, it fills a need, it’s right there, so why not eat it.
DBanj had some crap music too that sold with nice marketing moves. Like Oliver Twist…by time we’d watched viral videos all day we were hooked on the song, even though you know, its musicality is questionable. My sweetheart, the late Goldie made a very plain album too that did not exactly mask her limitations vocally and musically. but she was aiming for our hearts, a bit like Tiwa, and she won me over by being – to me – likeable, intelligent, strategic, and especially by offering theatrical entertainment – the costumes, the whole artistic package selling a fictional too-hard-to-touch glam girl, then an accessible home girl…I liked it. On the other hand, Tiwa’s philosophy is at best “rocking my back for you” so keeping families together, which is sweet, and at worst “my fiance took away my shame” so female stupidity, like hard to believe a 21st century chic would say such. So, while I’ve broken down and learned to love the Tiwa, I have two recommendations: 1. drop the ‘Savage’ ? please. 2. listen to R Kelly: Shut Up. Dang. That is how a gifted musician says to hell with the haters. With musical flair and style that makes your hair stand up.
Meanwhile, here I am listening to Janelle Monae and saying thank God I don’t have to only eat cafeteria grub, Knorr/Maggi – greased fried spaghetti. Oh Lord.
I will never rag on Tiwa again joo. World peace and love.
Now I’ve listened to two of the ten, and I have to say your article misinformed me, sorry.
Olamide’s album was absolutely completely fugging amazing. Half of the album was like unimprovably mindblowingly awesome, and the other half was like otherswishtheycouldtouchthis very very good.
Tiwa’s album was. OK. I am a hater. I think she is marketing. I think Beyonce is marketing. I think Tiwa is marketing and hardwork without the talent. She can fug up any song. She and Don Jazzy in Without My Heart gave me one of the worst songs I have ever heard in my life; I’ve still never finished the song. So I expected the least from her album. But guess what the shock was – 1. she’s still technically not strong but has improved. 2. Most of the music was not officially bad, but close. 3. I even found some that were not bad, esp Ileke. I was NOT disappointed, I was pleasantly surprised. Hard work pays, I guess. But wow she’s so bad. So bad they give her the beat the backup everything, she’ll just put voice wreck the thing. Moving on. I’m trying to like Tiwa’s work. Oh I liked the child picture idea at the back of the album. I wish I could create a world in which brand Beyonce hadn’t put in her crap music and infected woman’s minds with some of her flavour of dumbness.
Wanna know some good albums?
Olamide’s BGEL. God. Godddd!
Flavour try well well.
But my boy Jesse Jagz, I’m a Jesse Jagz fan, but no to the album. It was almost as bad/average as Tiwa’s. And Jesse is full full full of talent. And there’s a level of quality in there of course. But too many pieces in there were not competing, not winning my heart. That said, some tracks were off the hook esp Redemption and International. My advice to JJ, you know I love you man, do your originality and shid, then get some help from the commercial folk whether at CC or elsewhere so that you can create an experience that is easy for a wide audience to love. You don’t want to be Mode Nine. I’m always hearing about how great Mode9 is and yet all these years never heard him once.
Jay Z's sold over 1million excluding the 1million deal with samsung. Its in the list of best selling hip hop albums of all times in the USA, so then again another reminder why Nigerian blogs are a piece of trash and absolutely baseless
Love the list. I’ll forgive Olamide any sins because he has a certain way with music mannnnn, he’s touched my soul.
I appreciate a great write-up tho’. The negative review is a fine art that you got skills in.
i totally agree with this carefully researched and excellent write-up about the biggest flops this year. good work!
Whoever came up with this list definitely knows what their talking about.
This is bullshit… BGEL is dope.. I expected Fire of Zamani in that spot.
FOZ was hyped, but as an album (I just finally listened to it) it was ok. Actually it was good. Somewhere below Olamide and above Jesse.