Tope Olofin: 4 reasons why dumb phones still sell (Y! Superblogger)

by Tope Olofin

Some time ago, I talked about my failed marriages to two of the most popular phones on the planet. Today I will be talking about the perfect boyfriend that I never married. During the end of the 90s and around early 2000s, the GSM technology was introduced into the Nigerian environment and everyone wanted to go into a relationship with the phones. At the time, I still had to depend on my dad for everything and giving me the permission to date a phone was out of the question. Lucky for me, the Nokia 3310 took a liking to me and I kept the relationship a secret.

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We had everything going for us; boy was I convinced that ours was a match made in heaven. I remember the nights he took me out on the snake game dates, we spent hours playing and he kept encouraging me to try and beat my last score. I always believed no other guy could make me unfaithful to this wonderful man, but I was in for a shocker. The smart phones took the world by storm. Being seen outside with my boyfriend became a total embarrassment to me. In short it was social suicide. I begged and pleaded for the relationship to come to a halt, but he made sure he did everything to fight for what we still had. Despite all his efforts, I succeeded in shoving him into the carton of my heart.

Now as I sit reminiscing over past events of the last few months and years, I realized that this wonderful guy stayed true to his first love. And based on this here are 5 reasons why I think smartphones still sell.

 In all the dull, boring meetings, long and windy conversations or family gatherings, the smartphones seem like a good distraction and this has a way of pissing off friends, family and bosses. Such a rude device, but with the dumb phones, nothing like that ever happens. 

PHCN Friendly: In this part of the world where the guys that control power supply decide to take a break for months unending, these dumb babies come in handy, because they don’t require much battery life to make phones calls or send/ receive text messages. They will outlast the blackberry brothers and their Samsung cousins any day, any time.

Theft Resistant: They are only the only device that is guaranteed to be found 24hours after it goes missing. I remember when dropped my dumb phone in a commercial bus, the conductor asked me to come back and pick my phone. Stealing it was not an option, who wants such a dumb contraption.

Distraction…Less: In all the dull, boring meetings, long and windy conversations or family gatherings, the smartphones seem like a good distraction and this has a way of pissing off friends, family and bosses. Such a rude device, but with the dumb phones, nothing like that ever happens. Remember to be flaunting a dumb phone has the ability to take you down the social ladder.

De-Connectivity: With the entire social media stampede, privacy is a topic that has been shoved out the window. The entire world now seat with me in my classroom, my bedroom and even the restroom. Gosh, it is so annoying. However for those with the hermit tendencies and those who wish to put a halt to Facebook’s intruding nature; the dumb phones are your best choice.

Well here is a little secret, I still keep in contact with my boyfriend, and when my ex-husbands were messing up, guess where I was running to!

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Tope Olofin loves to rant. She is a boisterous and hilarious English graduate from the University of Lagos. She believes life’s experiences are priceless and the best way to capture it is by writing. She blogs at www.toperants.com and tweets @toperants

Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.

 

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