by Oluwatosin Fatoyinbo

The revealation of the possibility of Gboye being alive sent shivers down my spine. I had long given up on his safe return. I wasn’t sure if I ought to react; happy? How do you relate with a man who has been gone for so long? A man who put you in the family way and was not around to hear your labour pangs and understand the situation he placed you. How do you relate with a man who was not the first to carry his tender son, his exact look alike? And how do you handle a deceptive man? Is it possible that he was forced out of Nigeria for some reasons of which he couldn’t say no. what type of hold would they have had on him that could make them persuade him to leave his ‘wife’ and kid behind. Are they also monitoring his phone calls, emails, letters and other means of communication such that a message to his family and me of his safety was impossible? Perhaps he had fallen trap to a highly connected International mafia cell. Or how else should I believe that he didn’t orchestrate his kidnap?

‘Nike’ emeka shouted. ‘You are not here any longer. Come back!

‘Sorry, my mind has just raced thousands of miles and back’

‘I can see and I perfectly understand why’ he gave me one of those puzzled looks of his and asked the question juggling through my mind. ‘So what do you want to do now?

I sat there simply gazing at him but with my mind travelling through many things. It would be great if my little Olagboye could have his daddy in his life. He would soon come of age and when questions about his daddy start rolling in, what am I supposed to tell him. It would be great to have a man I can call my own. I would be more than happy to have the Miss prefix in my name transformed to Mrs. Life will return to normal and I would be happy again. But the big question is do I really want to spend the rest of my days with a man who made me go through hell? Will I really be happy?

‘I don’t know Emeka. I really don’t know. I need time to process all these information. I guess I am still in shock’

‘I can imagine dear. Just relax and think about everything.’ he said. ‘I should give you time to be alone but remember If he doesn’t contact you himself and explain whatever must have happened to him, then girlfriend, I will advise you forget about him and live your life. To love someone who does not respect you is the worse than not being loved at all. He placed his business card on my desk and walked out of my office. I sat there thinking about the statement ‘to love someone who does not respect you is worse than not being loved at all’. How true!

I sat there simply gazing at him but with my mind travelling through many things. It would be great if my little Olagboye could have his daddy in his life. He would soon come of age and when questions about his daddy start rolling in, what am I supposed to tell him. It would be great to have a man I can call my own.

I was distracted for the rest of the day and was very grateful when the clock dragged itself to 5pm. I quickly grabbed my things and left for home. I must have driven absent mindedly but I got home in one piece. As usual, I met Gboye’s mum playing fondly with her grandson. A look at her, and I pitied motherhood; how can Gboye be so cruel to his own mother? The woman looked at me aghast. ‘Mama Olagboye, kilo se e? You look like someone who has seen a ghost’. In the last couple of years, I had become so attached to her that she could easily pass for my mother in any gathering. I ran into her arms and cried my eyes out. The poor woman kept asking what the matter was but I didn’t have the strength to explain. It was in this condition that Dad met us. When he came in, he ordered us to keep quiet and stop the tears. Of course like every compassionate mother, Mama was already crying too even though she didn’t know what was wrong. He asked what the matter was and gave me enough time to tell the story. I could see the look on their faces. It described perfectly their dilemna. Oh the pangs of motherhood, she had cried so much and could not cry anymore. Her eyes became dry but bulging. I wondered what ran through her head at that moment. I noticed a quilt look on Dad’s face that I couldn’t understand.

‘Dad? He shook his head, stood from the chair, paced back and forth, and then sat down again. ‘Dad, is there something you are not telling me?

‘When you and Gboye came up to me about the pregnancy, remember I asked you to leave so we I could discuss with him man to man?

‘Yes I remember’ Mama looked at us with incomprehensive eyes, so I quickly explained to her eagerly wanting to know where Dad was headed.
‘Well… He complained about not being ready to marry. He was not financially capable of fending for a wife and a new born child. His salary was not going to cater for it considering he had obligations to his younger sibling’s education and the fact that you would hate him for collecting money from me each time needs arose’ he released a loud sigh and continued. ‘I called his boss Chief Desmond there and then and told him to up his N208, 000 monthly salary by 200%. Sure, Desmond didn’t argue, we go way back. By that, you won’t wonder where he gets so much money from’

‘Really Dad? that was unfair on me’ I groaned.

‘Listen, you know I would never do anything to hurt you. I was only trying to protect you. But that’s not all anyway’
‘What else did you do Dad?

He scratched his head, cusp his face and stood for the second time that evening. I had never seen him so disturbed. He was always calm. ‘I think I might be partially responsible for his disappearance. I think I triggered it by ……..’

To be continued….

——————–

Oluwatosin Fatoyinbo is a Christ-follower..simple.. friendly.. music lover..writer..arsenal fan..Lawyer in equity..curator at http://paarapo.com. He Tweets from @tosinfat