by Ifreke Inyang [@ifreke]

[7^th Mar – 12^th Mar 2011]

MONDAY: “Okay, It’s Monday people, Lets do what we do.. act very busy and get nothing much done..” @Osagz tweeted. @lumidizzle didn’t even feel like acting very busy. “I’d be lying if I said I felt like goin to work today…if only GEJ had come to Lagos again then I’d be able to blame him n the traffic :|” he tweeted. @WF_SimonSEEZ was in traffic and wasn’t really shocked over what he spotted. “The King’s Speech is now everywhere in Traffic,” he announced in his tweet. “Oscar Blues! Naija! Hehehe” @docmuffy couldn’t find stuff he’s been looking for in traffic for  while. “Three weeks post Super C Season launch, yet to get a physical sighting. And when is this Dbanj’s album gonna drop ooo… No one seems to know.” For those who were wondering where @itsjustAYO was, he told us in his tweet. It read: “I’m on springbreak nd incase ure looking 4 me ill be at Great Moon buffet eating d whole world :p”

TUESDAY: Today, the world had their eyes on Barcelona. The much expected second leg of the UEFA Champions League second round match between Barcelona and Arsenal was played out.  Arsenal lost the game 3-4 on aggregate. “Full Time: Barcelona 3-1 Arsenal. *sigh*. D spirit dat overwhelmed Nani & Van der Sar last week, entered Koscielny & Fabregas 2nite.” @Sir_Scribbles tweeted. Their fans on twitter were totally depressed.  “Fabregas you’ve been a ghost tonight, u never ever turn up in big games, injured or not.. SMH” @ikesonthereal tweeted. Despite the shocking statistics, @sommbonu expressed her love for the club. “0 shots from Arsenal after 90 mins. I still love me my Arsenal. Monkey no fine but I’m mama still love am!”

WEDNESDAY: @denrele_edun was loving his time in Dubai. “I just consumed Thai noodles,fresh steamin seafood&berry juice. D rate at which I’m consumin delicacies on a minute basis had berra gimme flesh!” @aMANUTDfan wasn’t having a nice time at the NYSC Camp though. His tweet said that much. “My mattress is flatter than Keri Hilson’s ass,” he tweeted. “Like jesu christi! ..I might jus twitpic.. ova 70ppl in a room by d way!” @bleezers saw another, er, backside that he couldn’t get off his mind. “E get one yansh I see for ozone on sunday! Today na wednesday am still reminiscing abt d yansh” he told us in his tweet. Today, fans of rap on twitter reminisced about Notorious B.I.G. “The illest rapper that ever did it died today… R.I.P Notorious B.I.G 14 years and Counting..” @PlaybackGenius said in his tweet. Today was also Ash Wednesday and for the next 40 days, it would be the Lenten period. “What am I giving up for Lent?” @Mam_oose asked rhetorically in her tweet.

THURSDAY: @johnero at least wasn’t planning to let go of the girls. He was chatting one up but was interrupted. He told us all about it in his tweet which said: “Was with this babe then some Deeper Life peeps came around and started preaching bout End time.. I just faked a phone call and left the place!” @iKilledMario made up his mind about where he’d be based and tweeted it. “It seems that I may end up settling in Enugu. Lagos and I are incompatible.” The trending topic today was #CelebrityBooks. @seunomish: “#CelebrityBooks 10 WAYS TO HIDE YOUR NAKEDNESS – WANDECOAL”, @BawsMajor: “#CelebrityBooks “Top Ten Tips For Hair Growth Stimulation” by Banky W.”, @KNIGHTCOUTURE: “#CelebrityBooks wen will u score a goal? by MIKEL OBI”, @Bottledpaul: “#CelebrityBooks M.I.D.G.E.T by M.I :|”.

FRIDAY: The earthquake/tsunami in Japan was by no means a small matter. It had claimed thousands of lives. A lot more were missing and the country was in absolute chaos. Of course, tweeps were still reacting. “The Earthquake/Tsunami in Japan is shocking… I’m praying for the people affected…” @AngelHear_T tweeted. @otunba_ugo couldn’t even imagine having to face that sort of occurrence. His tweet, which was a bit hilarious said: “The force of the tsunami is seriously not a laffing sumtin. I swim only in my bathtub so this is definitely the worst that can happen 2 me!” @medianemesis witnessed first hand a possible work hazard that could happen to him. “One of my colleagues accidently caught his hand in machinery and lost part of a finger last night,” he told us in his tweet. “That kind of ish messes up your mind…”

SATURDAY: Arsenal’s midweek loss to Barcelona no doubt was still playing in their minds. Their two week capitulation showed no signs of leaving as thy exited the third competition they were in. Manchester United defeated them to set up a mouth watering Manchester derby. @busy_brain, a die hard fan was getting used to the feeling already. “Well I dnt feel bad abt d defeat, tnx 2 arsenal 4d constant disappointments..” he tweeted. @Nemeze wasn’t ready to be disappointed by anything as she was heading for a wedding. “I am excited about this wedding ooo.. Lol…  Now lemme download this GPS cuz I don’t even know where I am but need to get home and change!”. Another tweep, @Life_IsTooShort, was going to stay at home and blast the music. “I just found out that my massive headphones can work with my phone…that’s it.. I’m going deaf!”

Gbagaun of the week: Have your pick!

@handsomelekson: Sikiratu sindodo aint died. confirmed.

@delecredible: somtimes i consider Fat pple Has physically challenged #Random

@abu_sinzu: Flamini ooo…..hehe higher killer…**am telling u

@FalodeESQ: Hope i lives till i get home i’m tired of eatin what they eats in Rome.

@Sal_VaDoR_: Seeing dis little child just made me thinking of getting a gurl preggy asap!

@whaley_elaw: I’m Scared To Loss The Ones I Love :|””

@Mak_Tavish: Bendtner Shud dies alongside Busacca too mcheeeew!!

@liltunechi_: Everything I’ve learned has came from a mistake in some way shape or form.

@therealUchman: Damn…..dat sleep was highly need

@nimrodking: Am a dick so it shouldnt be that hard to swollen.

@FalodeESQ: Hope i lives till i get home i’m tired of eatin what they eats in Rome.

@YosuaLorenzo: Thanx for you who is followback me thanx

Recommended: Follow some of the cutest girls on twitter this week – @vivisleek, @nikkymandy, @tayo_alayo and @pejublack. And don’t forget to ask for a follow back!

Rant of the week: @babyyinks: Why is this guy chasing me on all the social networks i’m in???!!!!! Fimile!!

Retweet of the week: @ojmaven asked @twittinigerian “wher do they sell d modem?”. He retweeted and said: “19 Ebinpejo lane, Idumota, Lagos or 51 Iweka road, Onitsha….”

Tweet of the week: @howyourday: Hmm… Dame Patience heads for rragos, prrease get out your umblerras o!

Seriously tweeting: @jayeolapapingo: Why u dey take viagra for my erectile dysfunction? Free me abeg tochi

Quote my tweet: @MI_Abaga: My leather jacket is a zara jacket..I bought her 4 £69.99.. & I luv her cuz she is snug & the perfect travel accessory. I call her ruth

Foot Note: Many thanks to @PengBoiz, @seyizy and @nikkymandy for providing some of the tweets used in this roundup. You can also become a YNaija Twirrespondent. It’s quite easy. Get funny, witty and interesting tweets from your timelines and send them to me.