[12^th September  to 17^th September]

By Ifreke Inyang [@Ifreke]

MONDAY: “The secret of getting ahead is getting started…. Morning peepz” @yinkz501 declared in his tweet as another Monday swung by.  @NateOblivion wasn’t prepared to get started.  “I think I might go late to ‘work’ today. Didn’t go throughout last week,” he tweeted. @trafels wondered why people were in a foul mood as they went to work today. He asked in his tweet: “Why do people look so sober and pissed off when driving to work on Monday morning?” There was indeed a reason to be sad for some folks as one of their favourite screen characters, Andy Whitfield passed on. “So Andy Whitfield “SPARTACUS” finally died yesterday at 39, after battling with cancer 4 11months, oh well…. ;( ;( ;(“ @kazebleek said in his tweet.

TUESDAY: @toki81281 wasn’t happy about the strength of the disciplinary action taken on the Beat FM battery incident. “So Olisa will get only 4weeks suspension. I hope Glo cancels his contract as well, and area boys burst that protruded belly of his!” he fumed. @feline_eyes was furious over something different. “I will never understand why a person will go to toilet & will not flush or close the toilet seat. What’s wrong with u?” she asked rhetorically. Arsenal went to Germany in the Champions League and drew their game. “Toor. Milan showed real class there. Chelsea? Well. Dortmund should have whipped Arsenal silly. Their play deserved it,” @Mdeyanz commented after the game.

WEDNESDAY: @4laa felt her stomach deserved more than what she had all day. “In other news, I’ve been chewing gum all day. My tummy needs real food. Accounting be crucified!” she tweeted obviously pissed. Funny tweet from @ikwerreman, reads : “Chai! I mistakenly picked a call from 09141. Now I’m dead. So this is what heaven looks like?” One person that was confirmed dead though was MC Loph. @walegates didn’t like the idea of people displaying his number all over the place. “Why tweet the poor guy’s dead body?  2 people now have it as their dp,” he tweeted. “Some things are just not right u don’t even have to be told.”

THURSDAY: Whether the subject matter was right or not, tweeters went in hard on a trending topic, #ReplaceMovieTitleWithBoobs. @Ms_Omalicha: “#ReplaceMovieTitleWithBoobs the last Boobs standing..”, @MrRayJar: “#ReplaceMovieTitleWithBoobs Harry Potter and the Deathly Boobs”,
@Uncle_LanreMax: “#ReplaceMovieTitleWithBoobs the boobs have eyes.” Who @IAM2SHOTZ planned to replace was his househelp. “Kai! My houseboy is soooo dumb…I need to fire him…kai his mumu is 1st class aaarrggghh!” he tweeted. @opeh07’s prayer was for the guy sitting beside her to remain dumb. He tweet was: “Lord, talk to dis dude besid me..he’s alrdy shining teeth @ me nd m so nt in d mood..i’m just gona unleash d anger in me if he says 1 word 2 me.”

FRIDAY: @AdRil_’s father had a word of advice for her concerning her addiction to her phone, and he showed it to her. “So dts hw my dad gave me punch newspaper to read a page on hw addiction to TV can shorten lifespan coz he thot I’m gettin addicted to my fone :|” she told her followers. @ThatIgboBoy couldn’t understand why his sister was addicted to something else. “Why does this 6 year old sister of mine obey all she hears on ‘Dora The Explorer’?” he asked in his tweet. One sector @opeolu2 was thinking of exploring was child care. His tweet was: “Wif my newly learnt baby-sitting skills…I should start offering a child care service, premium: D”

SATURDAY: @hunnie_dropz wasn’t happy with her job. “I can’t wait 4 June 5 2012….I hate NYSC!!!I hate work……☹crap,” she fumed. @LagosHunter didn’t like the fact that he was at work today. His tweet was: “ I’d rather be anywhere else right now…..spending my Saturday in a room full of my work colleagues & ‘strategizing’ is just not cool… :'(“ @AO1379 didn’t think it was cool to be stuck watching Barcelona destroy Osasuna in the Primera Liga. “I’ll rather watch Roma and Inter play a proper football match. Will catch the handball highlights later,” he tweeted.

Gbagaun of the week: Have your pick!

@GT_BABA: My mom is the best cooker ever no one can ever comes close.

@Medaytohbadt: Arsenal av scores 4 goals n dey r stil losing

@dejavu234: Arsenal is the most bigger joker I has ever seen

@Slimwaves: Some gurls are Just a fool

@kbabz: So I jes turned on my fone n see my gbagaun tweet bein retweetd?….rili?…dats jes plain stupidity.

@hydeyemo: Am true barca fans

@Y_warlock: is it true dat nelson mandela is died???

@Ebukaadaba: @yawazobiafm what a lost! RIP MC Loph

@Desolea: So a potatoes are vegetables

@shollytom: I must Survivor

@amujeezy: Don’t know wat 2 tweetin

@icatchcruise: This——>(•) (•) Or This——> ( • ) ( • )….pls make a choose

@sircjay: My skool is want 2 go on strike :s
@orflor: @DONJAZZY DEFINITELY DERE A SOMTIN FISHING.

@chrisbrown: I hope the show is scripted becuz if I had those kinda parents, I would’ve been ran away!!!
@MzEllatyra: I’m scare of him

@Ibk007Aroy: Connection has fluctuating for over an hour.

@jqccco: I luv boiz dat don’t addicted 2 football

@hydeyemo: Am marriage with two men

@hydeyemo: Luv begins wit a smile grows up wit a kiss $ end up wit a teardrops

@uguruwe: @TWEETORACLE i hv always know u r d chief security of yaba left bt sha stil luv ur Tl. Hw far kolo

@hossbobo: I know this may sounds a little nasty but.. I shower naked.

@omohba: Our famous spatacous is died…RIP Andy Whitfield.

@royalbosslady: Plz cc her account to me. I want to said something to her.

@TwitPolize: Because of this argument, my phone felt down scattered. Grhh…….this old man should free me oh.

@SleekCandie: Adele’s songs can make someone depression sha.

@Peyt_Leigh: i am never getting marriage

@omnife: Thanks God is another week of good things !!! Purse yours dreams .

@MoPride_: I’m a friendly troublemaker …don’t make me catching your feelings!

@Damillion: R u makin her lookin at ur avatar?

@AlhajiSpartan: Come, what has Glo been given U guys… share d news na… be ur brotha’s goalie
@alldyoss: Mandela will die pretty soon anyway. So u guys. Safe d gossip till den.

@CallMeAyanners: I’m not good enough and can always be replaces #thetruthofthematter

@IAm_NotAVirgin: Glued to Bollywood for the whole of today!! Indian man are so sexy 😉 😉

@Miss_suregal: iShud Sleepy Tho

@kbabz: NEWSFLASH: blackberries set to sue RIM for name their products after dem…

@MentionTo: #MentionTo your friend who never return something their borrow.

@iamwookid: @Sal_VaDoR_ WHY naww… dahs shws ow dumb u ar…. #CopyCat

@francients: ADVICE TO LADIES WHY YA MAN DUMB YOU.. U DON’T DO HIM WELL ON BED..

Recommended: Follow @dopeboifresh & @daaalu and ask for a follow back.

Rant of the week:  @djbuzzle: All They Do is Eat Billions Of Naira. Only If Yall Know How Many People DIE on Benin/Ore Express Road Daily. Its Very 🙁

Tweet of the week: @MoPanache: The rate @ which girls blow foné in whitehouse is becoming alarming. “Can I av armelar 150,begeeri & d big meaty thingy”

Retweet of the week:  @shaR_Rone asked in her tweet: “On a Scale of 1 – 5, rate how nice I am :)”. @NaijaCrook retweeted and asked: “Why is there no Zero? :(“

Seriously tweeting: @Jollz: Women of Ghana lock your doors and blindfold your men. The bald headed blondie, Amber Rose, is coming.

 SUBstance: @eaboyeji: So this mallam just accused me of being a liar, I asked him to explain what he meant and he started yanning balls. God dey.

Quote my tweet:  @2ndelawal: Arsenal can’t beat 10 randomly selected male followers of mine & 1 female as keeper. At worst, we’ll play 6-6

 Foot Note: Many thanks to @PengBoiz for providing some of the tweets used in this roundup. You can also become a YNaija twicorrespondent too. It’s quite easy. Get funny, witty and interesting tweets from your timelines and send them to me.