Remember the Gbagada meeting I mentioned I was going to? I got a deal worth mid six figures. I was homeless when I wrote those words above. Squatting in the type of neighbourhood that necessitated the invention of the word ‘squalid’ and yet two days later, I moved into my first mini-flat.

I just hit 30. I have a great job, a gorgeous wife and an adorable baby girl. I also…wait, did I say I have a ‘great’ job? Apologies. I have my dream job. I’m in the small percentage of humans who live their dream. I am a film maker. I get paid to write, direct and produce content. A fancy way of saying, I get paid, nicely, to tell stories.

Yet.

There are times I feel…frustrated. Times when I feel I could be doing so much more.

And then I found a little black book.

My journal from 2008. I am going to share with you an entry from it.

Because we so often forget to look back and be thankful. Because even though we are not where we think we ought to be, we are still pretty far from where we used to be.

Because I met a young lady recently and she is young, talented, vivacious…but underneath it all I she is in a place most of us have been. Feeling like she is trying to dig an escape tunnel with a plastic spoon. The ‘when will it be my turn’ phase. The ‘If only I could get a foot in the door’ years.

Here are excerpts from the journal entry –

“17/11/08

9.32am Tantalizers. Allen Avenue. Ikeja

I have N10 and I owe N97,000. All I had to eat yesterday was one N30 loaf of bread, three cracker biscuits, N20 butter and three pure water.

The smell of food is getting in my nose. I am starving! I have a writers meeting in Gbagada for 11am and I have no idea how I am going to make it.

I am not depressed or frustrated though. I have gone so far past that. But I am not hopeful either – now I just…

Accept…and pray.

Last night a miracle happened. Knowing I had no more credit on my phone, I still desperately sent an SOS SMS to my sister to pass on to my mother. It came back ‘undelivered’…

and yet she got it!

And this is after I spent my last credit whining to my girlfriend who said ‘I’ll pray about it, I am praying for you’, which made me shamefaced – because that’s when I remembered to. Pray that is…

My mother called at 8.50am. Has sent some money. I was at the ATM at 9.21am. My balance still read N348.00.

So here I am killing time until I go back and check again. Maybe till 9.50 perhaps.

I am so close to tears. I have never felt so helpless in my entire life…

So what am I doing? Thinking forward. Overlooking the hurt, humiliation, hunger and the soul numbing pain of the right now…

9.50. Go time. Cross your fingers, wish me luck – pray for me.”

Remember the Gbagada meeting I mentioned I was going to? I got a deal worth mid six figures. I was homeless when I wrote those words above. Squatting in the type of neighbourhood that necessitated the invention of the word ‘squalid’ and yet two days later, I moved into my first mini-flat.

The moral of my story? It’s fairly obvious isn’t it? All I can add is – if you think this is the worst day of your life, if you have had enough and are prepared to make a change, if you work hard at your craft, believe in yourself and your purpose.

Then you are correct. This is the worst day of your life.

Tomorrow = Day One – of everything else…

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Victor Sanchez Aghahowa is a TV and Film writer/director and producer. Currently he serves as one of the directors on MNet’s daily soap opera ‘Tinsel’. He is also the creator of the first Nigerian webseries ‘#howsheleftmybrother’  and is in pre-production for the feature film ‘Domestic’. He is a Manchester United fan, and a Doctor Who fanatic. Apart from having his dream job, he married his dream girl.

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30 Days 30 Voices series is an opportunity for young Nigerians to share their stories and experiences with other young Nigerians, within our borders and beyond, to inspire and motivate them.

 

Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.