by Leigh Newman
Yes, you have a job, a car and a condo with a reasonable mortgage. So does he. But sooner or later, one of you is going to have to move if the two of you want things to work.
Low expectations are something else entirely. An example: You just want the guy to be straight, funny and not a cheater (the word “just” is always a tip-off). In my experience, these are not low at all. They are simply revised expectations — after high ones were not met (he was straight, he was funny, and he was a cheater). You created these lower ones to keep from getting burned again. You’re telling yourself to want less than you want, so you might get something instead of nothing. But what happens is… you end up with something that you don’t want. The whole problem, I really, really believe, is the wanting. Going into a date and just letting it be what it is — and later deciding if you like it (or not) — allows for the possibility of the delightful unexpected, which is the official lightning rod of love.
Everybody shows love in different ways. If I am leaving for a long driving trip, my husband will desperately run down the driveway and scream at me “Put on your seatbelt!” He will also hand me big handfuls of paper napkins “just in case.” I understand the seatbelts: He’s worried; he doesn’t want anything to happen to me; he wants me to keep safe. In a perfect world, men would rush after us with easy-to-read signs like bouquets of red rose or huge banners painted with, duh, I LOVE YOU. We do not live in that world. The person who adores you may stuff carrots in your lunch to protect you from cancer with fresh vegetables or refuse to let you watch 90210 because it hurts your brain.
well all @ need to be wise.