What are the highlights of my day? Maybe driving without traffic, meeting fun and exciting people, new contracts? I think it’s actually waking up and breathing fresh air.

My life is a life most people hope to live or fill my shoes, not thinking of what lies beneath. What goes through the mind of this girl that wears a smile even when her whole world is crashing before her eyes, when loneliness seems to be the order of her day. Life is not always what we think it to be, there’s more to it that meets the eyes.

Can I say I’ve achieved a lot or met some goals I’ve set, well, maybe; recognition is good. When I heard of my nomination for Exquisite Lady Of the Year – Stylist of the Year 2012, it felt good. My first, but the drive became stronger, I knew I had more rivers to cross and more barriers to break. Arrival mentality is not my thing. I found out that there is no such thing a demi or mini god, there’s only a God. The author and finisher of our faith. It’s inevitable, man will fail you, no matter what, we are not built to perfection, we have our flaws n sometimes our imperfection gets the best of us.

Building your life around somebody is not one of the best plans in this life because not everybody bounces back after the fall. Pain is something I go through everyday. It’s funny how I almost never break a tear, sometimes I wish I could actually cry so I can at least I feel better. What’s the difference between loyalty and trust because people seem to mistake the two. Of what use are you to someone who you are loyal to, but you don’t have the person’s trust? It’s worse than a heartbreak; even though a heartbreak only comes from a broken trust. I’ve lost a lot of friends and loved ones on my journey to finding myself. Oh well! People come and people go.

A lot of people suffer and smile because that’s the only way they can get through the day. I just might be one of them, never wish to be anybody, because you don’t know their burdens or problems “Oh! She’s a brand ambassador. She’s an OUCH woman. Oh. She’s Balling”. People chant; some with a good heart, some with malice and envy. It’s the path I chose so I carry and bear every cross that comes with it. It’s not always rosy, but hey, it’s sunny on the other side of the street.

What are the highlights of my day? Maybe driving without traffic, meeting fun and exciting people, new contracts? I think it’s actually waking up and breathing fresh air. It gives me hope for better things to come. For great expectations, for great opportunities. Maybe a reason not to cry, maybe a reason a smile. A reason to be who I want to be. I start my typical day rushing out in a hurry, hurling all my stuff into the car and driving out to explore the world, applying my make up while driving  because I might not have the time to do so when I get to my destination. I had this client/friend that we used to share a joke: ‘what’s yours is mine’. But today it isn’t so, because of trust issues. She just didn’t trust me enough. My loyalty just wasn’t enough. Of course it affected me. I was hurt for days, but I’m good now, I’m a strong black woman. I am me. My thoughts are my words and my words are my actions. So limiting myself is all form of negativity that shouldn’t be in me.

Have I scored some good points? I’ll say yes.

Have I found happiness? I’ll say ‘hell yes’.

Let’s say, I’ve finally learned to forgive myself.

I’ve found me .

So the next time you see me, instead of wishing you are/were me, or maybe walking in my shoes (they are not Guiseppee Zanotti, they are Atmosphere. It’s not the shoes that speaks, it’s the woman walking in them that makes you notice the shoes)  ask me how I’m doing (look straight into my eyes) and you’ll find the answers.

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Yolanda Okereke is a Fashion & Wardrobe Consultant, Columnist/Writer and Fashion Editor of Bloke Magazine & The Net Ng, with a degree in Chemical Engineering. Having worked with and being a Personal Stylist to top Nigerian celebrities like Nse Ikpe-Etim, DJ Jimmy Jatt, Desmond Elliot, Chioma Chukwuka Akpota, Kate Henshaw, Femi Jacobs and Linda Ejiofor, Yolanda also contributes to a number of publications – online & print including Guardian Life, Vanguard Allure, BellaNaija, Y! Magazine as a stylist. Nominated for Exquisite Lady Of The Year 2012 ‘Stylist of the Year’ category, she is also an OUCH Ambassador as well as the founder of Rani Enterprise (A fashion & Style House). As a Nollywood Wardrobe Consultant, she involved in film and movie projects like: CatWalq Series, The Meeting Movie, Journey to Self and a host of others.

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30 Days 30 Voices series is an opportunity for young Nigerians to share their stories and experiences with other young Nigerians, within our borders and beyond, to inspire and motivate them.

 

Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.