by K. Alicia Fetters

You don’t take a date to a club. You find a date at a club….If you want to dance, find a salsa event, but leave the bass-thumping music to the singles.

1. Meeting the Family

“Family events are a terrible idea for the first few dates,” DeAlto says. “There is too much pressure and not enough foundation.” Plus, your mom might feel the need to dig out old, potentially incriminating pictures of you.

Change of plans: Families are incorrigible, so if yours is dead-set on meeting your girl, hold them off until you’re official and plan it with only a few family members in public. A neutral location can help keep her more comfortable. And bookend the meet-and-greet with some alone time, in case you need to run damage control.

2. Eating at a BBQ Joint

“No one looks sexy gnawing on ribs,” DeAlto says. But she’ll probably try to be the exception and will feel super self-conscious trying to eat them daintily. Meanwhile, if any sauce lands on her dress, you’re toast.

Change of plans: “BBQ is amazing, but save it for a few dates down the road when you can get messy without being embarrassed,” says DeAlto. Stick with fork-and-knife staples at the beginning. That also means no chopsticks.

3. Watching the Game at a Sports Bar

“Watching you stare at a TV screen is not appealing,” DeAlto says. Save that for later down the road when you have some brownie points to cash in.

Change of plans: Buy tickets to a real game instead. “The two of you rooting for a team while enjoying the energy of live sporting events is sexy,” DeAlto says. When her adrenaline’s pumping in the fourth quarter of a tied match, her brain links that hyped-up (even turned-on) feeling with whatever’s around her—like you. Buy her a big foam finger and see what happens.

4. Screening an X-Rated Movie

The only thing more awkward for her would be watching it with her parents. It’s overtly sexual and will make her feel pressured, Moufarrej says. She’ll feel like you’re expecting whatever earned the movie an X rating from her.

Change of plans: Opt for a rom-com that will make her swoon. (Here are our favorite man-approved chick flicks.) Women get turned on through their heart, says DeAlto. Plus, a lot of the films still have some pretty good sex scenes.

5. Going to a Strip Club

On a date, the last thing your girl wants to see is you lusting over someone else and her pasties, says relationship expert George Moufarrej, author of Sexual Euphoria. It makes her feel like chopped liver.

Change of plans: Class things up with a cabaret show, DeAlto suggests. “It’s still sexy, but not raunchy.”

6. Going to the Shooting Range

“Unless you’re dating Sarah Palin, a shooting range may not be the best idea,” says DeAlto. Guns may spook her if she hasn’t shot, held, or even seen one before.

Change of Plans: Before you whip out your 9mm, ask her to play laser tag with you. You’ll have more opportunity to goof around, laugh, and touch when you’re firing off lasers in the dark. If, after the match, she mentions she’d love to shoot a real gun sometime, there’s your go-ahead.

7. Doing Anything with the Guys

“Yes, eventually she’s going to want to meet your buddies, but for now it’s all about the two of you,” DeAlto says. “An event where she is the only woman can be very overwhelming for a new relationship.”

Change of plans: Slowly introduce her to your guy friends with double dates. She’ll have another girl there in solidarity and you won’t have to worry about sticking by her side all night, she says.

8. Hitting the Club

“You don’t take a date to a club. You find a date at a club,” says DeAlto. “There’s loud music and you’ll both have to scream the same phrase over and over to understand each other.”

Change of plans: “If you want to dance, find a salsa event, but leave the bass-thumping music to the singles,” DeAlto says. Bonus: salsa is much sexier than grinding.

9. Going to a Reunion

High school or college, it doesn’t matter. “The reunion is a trip back in time, where a person relives his old moments and reconnects with friends that he hasn’t seen in years,” Moufarrej says. Bringing someone who doesn’t fit into that past is just a recipe for uncomfortable times ahead, she says.

Change of plans: If you want a blast from the past, do a high-school yearbook swap with her. Look at each other’s dorky photos, tell stories, and learn about your lives in a fun, pressure-free setting.

10. Attending a Funeral

It’s depressing this even has to be said, but no. Funerals are serious downers. “The woman is going on a date to have a good time. This definitely is not the way to go,” Moufarrej says.

Change of plans: It might suck to show up to a funeral stag, but she can console you afterward. After all, women dig sensitive guys.

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Read more in Men’s Health

 

Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.