All from Nigeria’s political sphere (strangely), here are all the winners and losers from the past week.

WINNERS

The Buhari family: First with the most publicised wedding in 2016, between Zahra Buhari and Ahmed Indimi which was talked about so much that we almost started doubting the genuineness of the union, until the family began to release photos. Jaw-dropping, awe-inspiring quality wedding photos.

The first family outdid themselves with this wedding. It was a perfect way to shut naysayers up. The display of pure class but not necessarily wealth, First Lady Aisha Buhari’s smile as she beamed with pride, the look of satisfaction on the faces of guests and everything else that the wedding photos speak to you when you stare at them. #Zahmed2016 was a success.

The celebration continued as the bride’s father and President of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, Muhammadu Buhari celebrated his 74th birthday yesterday in no other way, but the presidential way. Green and white cakes, the special parade by the Nigerian Army and the release of pigeons…what more can we say?

Governor Ayo Fayose: As this headline rightly puts it, Governor Fayose stormed the Ado Ekiti branch of Zenith Bank with that Bitch Better Have My Money attitude that only he of all governors can have. We totally enjoyed how he made a big show of the withdrawal, from signing with the bank manager to stepping out cash in hand (in black polythene bags), to stepping into his car. The message was loud and clear!

LOSERS

Ibrahim Magu: The acting Chairman of the EFCC may have seen this coming considering how the Senate had treated his nomination letter since June 22 when they received it from the presidency. On Wednesday after Magu was invited into the upper chamber for what lasted barely 20 minutes, he was rejected. It was reported that he refused to speak to newsmen outside the National Assembly and we still haven’t heard a word from him since then.

Babachir Lawal: He is the Secretary General of the Federation who owns an ICT company that was awarded a grass clearing contract worth over N200million by the Presidential Initiative for the North East (PINE).

He’s the first of many others who are involved in siphoning funds allocated for the rehabilitation of Internally Displaced Persons (IDPs) in the North East. The Senate has called for his resignation and prosecution and he has pissed them off even further by accusing them of “talking balderdash”.

Trust that they will be on his case once plenary resumes in January. It’s about to be a long battle for the SGF.

Governor Nyesom Wike: Nowhere to run or hide, it’s a tape and we’ve heard it all. The Rivers state governor was in a telephone conversation with an official of the electoral body, INEC during the rerun election in the state.

From the conversation, we know that he paid for results to be manipulated and he threatened to kill the official and anyone else who tried to get in his way.

Or maybe, it wasn’t Governor Wike. We’ll all soon find out, but this is no good for a governor who is already controversy-stricken.

Tolu

Your pop culture/entertainment go-to. Music head. Wallflower. I do not like to write. On a mission to decipher covfefe.