by Julia Flood

…while he belittles you in private, he may be quite the charmer in public. This is extra confusing, because none of your friends or family are able to validate what you’re experiencing.

October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and while most women would agree that physical violence has no part in a love relationship, what are more subtle signs that you are not being treated well? Where do you draw the line between ordinary arguments and emotional abuse? Here are some definite red flags:

1. He’s moody … not just every once in a while, but most of the time. You never know what mood he will be in, or what you did this time to upset him, but he is always sure it’s your fault. Consequently, you find yourself walking on eggshells trying to avoid problems, but it never seems to work. You feel a knot in your stomach whenever he is around you.

2. He’s contrarian. No matter what you say, he says the opposite. It’s always black or white with him. He never caveats his views with “I think” or “In my opinion.” He doesn’t show interest in how you or others see the world. He may call you dumb or naïve or otherwise try to undermine your self-esteem.

Interestingly, while he belittles you in private, he may be quite the charmer in public. This is extra confusing, because none of your friend