Ugodre Talks Figures: Dude, your wife is worth N32.7million a year

 

by Ugodre

Making your wife happy, for many men, usually involves spending a whole lot of money – especially if you love her; and I’m not just talking of the gifts, flowers and dinners on Valentine’s Day. For all you know there is indeed a direct relationship between a how you value your wife and how deep you dig into your pocket for her sake. Meaning if you value your wife pretty high there is every tendency for you to spend more. But then what truly is the worth of a woman? Forget the cliché “a woman is worth more than diamond” or “a woman is priceless”, blah blah blah. There has gotta be a monetary value attached to it. It’s even ironic that our forefathers thought of it this way that they put a bride price on their daughters.

How then do I estimate a woman’s worth on say, a yearly basis? To do this, you will have to think like you’re from Mars. Hence I will base my estimates on the following questions;

1. How much would you have paid for her to be pregnant for you and get you a baby?
2. How much would you have paid her to raise your children from infancy to 18?
3. How much would she charge you were you to pay her for love making at your beck and call?
4. What is the present value of all the future earnings she will receive as a salary earner?
5. How much will you pay her to cook for you and keep your house hold in order?

Are there anymore vital responsibilities and tasks that I’m missing? Guess I’d just stick with these for now!

My estimate reveals an astonishing N32.7m per year!!!! Wanna know how? Here it is;

1. How much would you have paid her to be pregnant for you and eventually deliver a baby?

This would have been a difficult task but thanks to advanced scientific research it now very possible. You just have to look at how much it costs to have a baby through a surrogate mother. According to this website http://people.whatitcosts.com/surrogate.htm it costs approximately $100k to have a child through surrogate means. So if we use half of that it comes to $50k or roughly N7.5m. Considering that it typically takes 9 months to have a baby we will have to assume that this is done per year. Therefore, it will probably cost you N7.5m per year.

2. How much would you have paid her to raise a child from infancy till 18?

Likely value- This is a bit dicey so I might have to be a little subjective. A nanny in Nigeria earns an average of N15k every month. Nannies are usually needed for at least the first 7 years of a child. Considering your wife is highly educated this should cost you at least 60% more roughly N24k, which multiplied by 12 (months) gives you N288k per annum.

3. How much would she charge you were you to pay her for love making at your beck and call?

Likely outcome – this is a touchy question, I know, but remember you’re to think like you’re from Mars not Earth. Sex typically cost around N20k a night in Lagos (so I heard). Love making being a harder task than sex and with a higher value would probably cost twice that amount. Assume men make love 3 times a week, for a calendar year it comes to about N7.8m per annum. Hmmmmm.

4. What is the present value of all the future earnings she will receive as a salary earner?

Likely outcome- Present Value is the value of all future earnings today and at today’s cost. A woman, like a man, will work for an average of 35 years. If 5 years of that period she was single, then we assume the remaining 30 years of her working life she was (or will be) married to you. On an average she earns N300,000 per month through out the 30 years which gives you N126m for the 30 years. If we discount that with today’s inflation rate of 12% it comes to N28.9m or about N30m in today’s value. Assume that you get a third of that as her contribution to the household income; it gives you N10m per year.

5. How much will you pay her to cook for you and keep your household in order?

Likely Outcome – What will you pay a chef and a house keeper? A wife does both excellently well. An average 4 star hotel chef will earn about $4,000 a month or N600k a month. A year that’s about N7.2m. So, a wife who does both is probably worth that much for her cooking and housekeeping abilities.

Adding everything up gives us approximately N32.78m a year.

What do you think? Ahhh… I’m just messing around folks as this sounds illogical at best and out of this world (which is why I implore you to think like you’re from another planet) but then it’s a plausible view point. So if you are considering the cheapest Valentine’s Day gift for your wife, think again… she’s worth at least N33m which you simply never get to pay for.

 

Visit Ugodre’s blog HERE.

Editor’s note: Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.

Comments (3)

  1. This is rili spectacular. Can't even begin to thank you enough ugodre. You're a gem.

    PS: please visit my blog at http://t.co/DbTxH5vO leave comments and suggestions. Thanks

  2. Ugodre, are you male or female? I could just love you for this article! I'm going to send this to my honey pie just to tell him how much I'm worth!

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