from Real Buzz
A new year has rolled around again and it’s time to re-examine our lives and find ways to improve ourselves. Over Christmas we are constantly reminded of the fact that the most important thing in life is love, so surely the best New Year’s resolution we can make is to improve our relationships. Here are 10 ways to make your relationships even better than they were last year.
Relationships are tough and someone at some point will have been hurt within your relationship. If that person was you, have you forgiven the other for hurting you? If not, then it’s time to ask yourself why.
Was the thing they did too hurtful? Is the deed too unforgivable? If it is, then you need to end the relationship and move on. Yet if you can forgive them, work hard to get over the hurt and then, once you’re ready and able, do not hold the other person to blame, especially during arguments.
Be a yes person
How many times did you go out for after-work drinks last year? How many parties did you attend? If your schedule has fewer engagements than your grandma’s, you need to change your attitude and become a yes person. Saying yes to social events will mean that you have more chance of meeting someone you like. Remember, you can’t meet The One whilst sitting in watching a bad rom-com and eating a takeaway; get out there.
If you want a love life resolution to make for the New Year, you should definitely start a new tradition as a couple. Traditions unite people and will give you something to look forward to as a couple. Your tradition could be anything, from going on a trip to somewhere you both love to reading the papers whilst eating hot croissants on a Sunday morning.
When you have been together for a long time, it can be easy to get into a relationship rut. If you think you are both in a relationship stalemate make this year’s New Year’s resolution all about moving forward.
You should aim to grow your relationship at a speed you are both happy with in terms of commitment, trust and lifestyle. For example, are you guys going to be ready to meet one another’s parents or move in together this year? Don’t force your progression though; just think about where you would both like your relationship to be in 12 months time.
To improve your love life this New Year get some independence. Sometimes through changes in your life you might find that you’ve become a little too dependent on your other half and this is not healthy and will cause unnecessary pressure and strain on your relationship. To get some independence without sabotaging your closeness as a couple, get some interests outside of one another. You could volunteer, join a team or start a new, solo project.
When you’ve been together for a long time it can be easy to take one another for granted. When this happens you might find that you are less loving towards one another and that you both tend to snap or bicker over silly things.
If this sounds familiar the next time you think you are about to be negative take a deep breath, pause and ask yourself, what good will come out of behaving like this? Being a little kinder to one another is one of the best love life resolutions you can make, but it’s one of the hardest to achieve.
Get over them
When a relationship with someone you love ends, it can be hard to come to terms with. Although you are allowed to grieve for your ex and miss them, there comes a time when you need to accept that things didn’t work out and move on. This year make it your love life resolution to face the feelings you have for your ex and make steps to get over them once and for all.
Make love a priority
Work, chores, friends and family ties mean that most of us feel overstretched and stressed. Time is a constant battle for the modern man and woman, yet when it comes down to it, there are sacrifices that can be made to make sure you make love a priority.
For example, do you need to take a promotion at work, even though it means more time at the office? Be aware of the choices you make this year and ask yourself if you are putting the people you love, or could love, first.
The New Year is the perfect time to look at your relationships and honestly ask whether things are working out. Be honest and face issues you’ve been avoiding. For example, if the girl you’ve been dating tells you she wants to be with you forever but won’t move in despite the fact you’ve been together for two years, question whether it’s enough. Is this relationship good enough for you and are you getting what you want and need from the other person? If the answer is no, discuss these issues with your partner.
Random act of kindness
Nothing says ‘I love you’ like a random act of kindness. Try to surprise your partner at least once a year, but if you can manage to give your partner a treat once a month it will remind them that you really care. The surprises don’t have to be expensive. You could pack them a special lunch to take to work or burn them a CD of their favourite tracks for the car. Little things go a long way in a relationship so make it your love life resolution this New Year to be kinder to your partner.
Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.