by Kelly Rouba

Let her know the things you like about her, what turns you on about her– is in fact a huge turn on for her.

If you frequent the bar scene or have tried online dating recently, you’ve probably been barraged by men who think that lewd sexual remarks or lame pick up lines are what it takes to get them a date— or into your pants.

And then, there’s the general insensitivity. Men can be thoughtless when it comes to dating and relationships. It’s not that they intend to be rude… they just don’t think things through. But that doesn’t mean women should necessarily push men away. Women play a part too. Sometimes, women can tend to focus on the negative, making matters worse.

Dr. Jane Greer, GalTime’s own Relationship Expert, and creator of “Shrink Wrap” (a national commentary on what we can learn from celebrity relationships), has heard it all… “He talked too much, he interrupted, he came late, he told you that you were going out to dinner and then he changed his mind… this list could go on infinitely because the knee-jerk response is to talk about what turned you off.”

Dr. Greer points out that we can all benefit from a change in attitude. “I think the key for men and women both is to shift from the ‘turn off’ to the ‘turn on.’ Then your day after conversation can be testimony to the positives. You can say, ‘Here’s what I liked…’ and that can give you something to build on.”

There are plenty of things men can do to turn women on. She offers these tips:

1. Be reliable and follow through. If you say you are going to call, call. Otherwise, don’t say it. If you make a date for 7:00 get there at 7:00, or be thoughtful and communicate in some form that you’re running late. This is how you convey respect.

2. Show interest by asking questions. Take the time to inquire about the important aspects of her life—like friends, work, family and hobbies. This is the way you get to find out the things you have in common– and at the same time show her she’s important to get to know about.

3. Compliment her. Let her know the things you like about her, what turns you on about her– is in fact a huge turn on for her. If you like her hair, outfit or something she says… tell her!

4. Be considerate. Ask her about the things she likes to do, and factoring in her preferences and needs into the plans you make for your date. If you’re at a restaurant ask her what food she likes before you order to see if you can share anything.

5. Flirt with her! Be playful, charming, and sexy, smile a lot and laugh with her. All of these things will spark a connection that will be a great turn on.

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Read this article in GalTime

 

Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.