by Chi Ibe and Sola Fasasi

If you pay attention to anything, then you know the biggest news this weekend is Asa’s Live Concert in Lagos – happening this evening at the Eko Convention Centre.

Our reporters, who are milling around the place to stand in the gap for you, share some of their irreverent thoughts as they recall the last major concert, Olamide Live in Concert in December.

1. People are calling around for free tickets

This is the problem with this country. People spend all the time trying to get events targeted at the upper income earners. But those upper income earners are from the devil. Why though? They don’t like to pay for anything. Fans of Olamide pay good money to see Olamide.

They save money if they have to. They don’t go around begging for free tickets, they woman up and get it done. But if you move in certain circles, you will know that adult males and females who have millions in their account are disgracing themselves over Asa’s concert. Texting themselves all over the place asking for who has ticket for free show. May God forgive all of you.

2. People around Eko Hotel are fully clothed

Were you at the hotel last year when OLIC held, you could have mistakened it for a rundown motel in downtown Ilasa-Maja. Ladies (and because we are not sexist, gentlemen) were in various stages of undress ‘upandan’ Eko Hotel, showing everything available to be shown and behaving as if they came there straight from the toilet.

The people we have seen at Eko Hotel today? Fully clothed, many in suits, people respecting themselves. We are already bored.

3. There are only 6 media partners

Olamide does a concert and everyone and their father is a media partner, including the blogger in Erin-Ijesha who was friends with Olamide when the struggle began. Asa’s own concert? It’s a sanitized list of the Mnets of our time. 6 of them respectfully positioned on the billboards and fliers across Lagos. Because aje-butter people don’t stress themselves like that.

4. Rehearsals, rehearsals, rehearsals

Mehn, we haven’t seen rehearsals like this. Is it a super-bowl performance? Asa and her posse have been rehearing like good news all week – at the Eko Convention Centre and out of it, everywhere they possibly can.

The team of tens of people has brought out everything, refusing to rely only on her alleged talent and ensuring that every single detail is put to pat.

5. Band-aid

This is a full band – it’s like the 300 Spartans that went to war. On the keyboard, on the drums, on the guitars, on the carpet, crawling around the place, doing this or that, here and there.

Asa came to Nigeria with a full band, leaving nothing to chance and taking nothing for granted. Our minds are blown.

6. No red cups

No single red cup in sight. What’s going on here? We were here for the Olamide Live in Concert, and the alcohol was already flowing long before you could say ‘drunk 20-somethings’ and when the show itself started, we could clearly see the effects of all the wine poured all over the place.

We have been here for a while now, and it doesn’t appear there will be a repeat performance. How will this happen exactly? How will people connect if there is no ‘shayo’?

7. The VIP section is upstairs

They have not allowed us share the photos yet, but we will. In the meantime take our word for it, the VVIP section at Asa’s concert is upstairs.

Yes, you heard us right. The reason is simple, her handlers tell us. Nigerian VIPs don’t dance, and that whole thing can mess up with the feng shui of concerts. Asa is used to crowds – including ‘oyinbo’ people – dancing, screaming all over the place with excitement just like any proper concert should be.

She wants to ensure the same concertgoer experience. We say yes and amen. Bye bye to ‘nyama nyama’ posers. If you cannot show yourself, go upstairs and drink your champagne in peace. We came here to dance.