Every day on the Nigerian Internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social issues, etc. Sometimes, they are just downright ridiculous.

Here’s a roundup of the best we saw:

I can explain, it’s not what you think.

— A B I M B O L A (@bimbssssss) August 4, 2020

Dorrling, I can explain

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First day on Twitter after leaving the warmth of facebook I said "I like eating Cerelac" someone quote tweeted "You sound homeless" and everyone laughed. I knew then that the currency on this place is blood and iron.

— Prof (@LazarusKumi) August 4, 2020

Never mind, fine for hate speech has been increased.

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3.

 

#justicefornipost #justicefornipost #justicefornipost #justicefornipost #justicefornipost

— Nigerian Postal Service (@NipostNgn) August 4, 2020

This Government nor balance

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4.

My mum: I want to go and play in Abuja
Me: take your grandkids
?

— I’m going to see that shit on Netflix (@irepunited) August 4, 2020

…

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5.

When I was doing loan analysis, someone told me that he missed his loan payment because his wife SUDDENLY gave birth ???

You can use something similar.

Good luck!

— The Azodo (@SimplyAzodo) August 4, 2020

LMAO. E be Things. 

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6.

You want me to trend hashtag for you after misplacing letter that I wrote to my babe in 1997?

Ogun kee you there!

— Don (@Don_Kane) August 4, 2020

Forgive and forget…

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7.

How about I take and not post them?

— mz_horluchi (@horluchi4) August 4, 2020

 

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8.

sometimes I travel and leave my son behind and I’m okay, but my son left me yesterday and I haven’t been okay. ?

— zxxbxbx (@TAFELMUKOVIC) August 4, 2020

 

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And while men slept:

This picture should be placed in a museum. pic.twitter.com/WOT9yhwUNj

— Osazee Iyamu (@IAmQuebex) August 3, 2020