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Opinion: Men, when she earns more than you… it matters #SoDontKidYourself

By Nomalanga Mhlauli-Moses

Professional Matchmaker, Author and Relationship Expert, Samantha Daniels contends that while some men say they are not bothered by a woman who makes more, “pretending that the woman being the breadwinner has no bearing whatsoever on relationships is naive.”

Nowadays, it is not uncommon for women to out earn their men or to at least earn the same amount of money as them. Many men say that they are not bothered by this and they are perfectly content with a woman who can pay all the bills.

Professional Matchmaker, Author and Relationship Expert, Samantha Daniels contends that while some men say they are not bothered by a woman who makes more, “pretending that the woman being the breadwinner has no bearing whatsoever on relationships is naive.”

In order to make sure that your relationship is not negatively affected, Daniels gives 10 tips:

 1. Men-Give her Gifts

While a woman may be the one bringing home the bigger paycheck, she will love getting a gift from you just because it’s from you and it will make her feel special.

2. Men-Be her protector

Even if your woman is the breadwinner, as a man, you must still be her protector and make her feel safe. Making a woman feel safe  is not about how much money you make; it’s about how she feels, emotionally, when she is with you.

3. Men-Don’t take her for granted

Just as you, as a man, want to feel appreciated for your contribution to the relationship and the family, your spouse also wants to feel appreciated for footing all those bills.

4. Women-Be soft and feminine

If you are a woman who is with a heterosexual man, then it is important to stay in touch with your soft and feminine side. Your man is attracted to you because you’re a woman and acting like a man will not work for him or the romance.

5. Women-Watch the ego

Be mindful of your man’s ego and acknowledge that it may be fragile. Make sure that you paying the bills isn’t bruising his ego and making him feel inadequate. While it is certainly not your job to be constantly stroking his ego, just be mindful of what you say or do and make sure it’s not anything that will make him feel badly about himself.

6. Women-Allow him to pay if he wants to

Even though you may be Ms. Money-Bags, your man may still want to pay for things because that is what he feels he should do. If that is what he wants, then allow him to, as long as he is not digging himself or both of you into a financial hole.

7. Open a joint account or develop a household fund.

Ladies, the important aspect of this joint money is that your man can have access to money for little household things like soap or milk without having to ask you for money. Even if your man is a “modern man,” having to ask your permission for such minor things can cause some level of resentment.

8. Discuss who pays on dates

Before you go out on a date, make sure you have decided who is paying so as to avoid any awkward moments when the bill comes.

9. Have healthy communication about finances

While you may be great at managing your “modern” relationship, it is important to understand that some “old school” feelings about  the different s*xes and their roles may still creep up on you. If you have open, frequent and healthy conversation about your finances, you can avoid major conflicts.

10. Men-Romance your woman

While the woman may be the breadwinner, she still wants to be treated like a woman because she is a woman. Make sure you make an effort to romance her and treat her like like a lady.

 

Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.

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One comment

  1. i am beginning to love you….

cool good eh love2 cute confused notgood numb disgusting fail
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