by Ankush Bahuguna

They bond with each other over everyone else’s dislike for them. They like to assume they’re ‘different’, the kind normal people can never understand. They find comfort in their mutual understanding of each others’ unique traits and their ‘eccentric’ ways of living. 

1. The Don’t-Worry-Be-Happy Girlfriend

Her best friend just broke out of a five hour long relationship with the guy she met in the department store. The world has come crashing down and the damage seems irreparable, for both of course. Five hours; five long hours. But that’s how unfair life is, no? And here comes this don’t-worry-be-happy girlfriend to the rescue. She comes in with a box of chocolates and a greeting card that reads lyrics stolen out of the ‘Friends’ theme song. With a long warm hug, she sheds a tear herself and shares the burden of sorrow. While cheering her girlfriend further up by complimenting her  uncombed fuzzy hair, she pops most of those chocolate hearts in her own mouth. While on the way back home, one and half blocks away, she sends ‘Sweetie are you alright?’ messages to make sure her ‘bestie’ hasn’t ended her life.

2. The Conjoined Twins

They’ve known each other for the longest time. They have the same likes and dislikes, the same opinions on life (or the lack of them), the very same judgements on people. They are the ones who, as a sign of the conjoined-ness of their souls, buy everything in twos– earrings, nail paints and for some weird reasons even underwear. Get on the bad side of one, and the second enemy would come absolutely free. If you look closely you can actually seem them tied to each other with an umbilical cord that reads ‘Date One Get One Free’. They would often talk to each to each other in a code language (thankfully so), especially when surrounded by other girls, in order to show how inseparable and exclusive they are. When asked what they’re talking about, they would assume the question to be a compliment instead and stupidly giggle. You throw a question at one of them but both of them answer it in unison. They’re like one-girl-plus-a-spare-body.

3. The We’re-So-Misunderstood Girlfriends

They bond with each other over everyone else’s dislike for them. They like to assume they’re ‘different’, the kind normal people can never understand. They find comfort in their mutual understanding of each others’ unique traits and their ‘eccentric’ ways of living. The world is a harsh place for people as unique as them and they take it in their stride. They have choices that the world isn’t ready to accept in girls yet – like gossiping, loving to dress up in best clothes, gossiping, shopping till the shutters are down and, did I mention gossiping?

4. The I-Love-To-Hate-You Friends

Your girlfriend has this one particular friend she can kill for. She’d claw anybody who speaks ill of that friend. But it is not as much as about caring as it about her desire to be the one who insults instead. They’re best friends but even greater foes. They’re the ones straight out of ‘Bride Wars’, always involved in a neck-to-neck competition so lethal that it makes India Vs Pakistan World Cup seem like a trivial affair. They cannot keep away from striking each other down just in order to prove supremacy. Competing with that friend is the sole motive of her existence. If she lost a few pounds, your already-size-minus-one would do whatever it takes to slim further down – even if it demands the most vital organs to be scooped out of her body. Whatever it takes, remember? They’re Best Friends Forever, we wonder how.

5. The WooHoo Girls

These are the two who would never talk to each other unless under the influence of alcohol. In fact, a minute before gulping down that tequila shot, your girlfriend had discussed at length about that other girl’s tacky earrings. In return, the other girl had remarked how this was the third time your girlfriend was wearing the same dress to the club. The two had smiled at each other and hurled sugar coated abuses at each other, like “You pretty thing!” A shot later, the alcohol makes its way to the brains and there the two are – hooting and whooping as they make their way into the dance floor. ‘Oh my God, that’s my favourite song!’ One of them lets out. ‘Mine too!’ The other follows, losing control of her body as the Shakira in her takes over. ‘Woohoo!’ they both shriek and clutch onto each other in a hug, swaying across the dance floor!  As the sun rises up and the high mellows down, “Did I tell you you’ve been wearing that dress too many times?” “Yes you did and you also told me about the ten year old you borrowed those earrings from” – they’re back to being themselves.

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Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.