TICKER: Isn’t this too early? Justin Bieber accused of stealing credit card to buy penis enlargement pills

Justin Bieber has been sued by a Michigan man who claims the pop superstar stole his credit card and purchased a penis enlargement with it.

According to CBS Detroit, the plaintiff, who identifies himself in court papers as Selena Gomez’s father, alleges Bieber spent $426.78 on the enlargement and never paid him back. The documents also claim that Bieber “used the stolen American Express card to buy an abortion for his longtime girlfriend,” the station writes.

This might all be rather scandalous if the veracity of the lawsuit hadn’t been cast into serious question. As TMZ writes, the plaintiff — whose identity has not been confirmed — goes on to make “some of the most insane, and obviously untrue allegations ever documented in court.” For instance, the man claims that Bieber gave Gomez an STD and stole his credit card to buy him and Sean “P Diddy” Combs cocaine “to use in drug-free school zones.”

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cool good eh love2 cute confused notgood numb disgusting fail