Every day on the Nigerian internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social matters, etc. Sometimes, they are just downright ridiculous. We make it our job to take down the names of these noisemakers.

Here’s our list from today:

1. Seun Alaofin

For every time we refuse to discuss issues that might lead to temporary DISAGREEMENT thinking it will make PEACE reign, we create room for permanent DISAGREEMENT that might invariably lead to the UNAVAILABILITY of lasting PEACE.

Having issues? Trash it out and move on. It works.

— Elder Seun ?? ?? (@seunalaofin) May 23, 2018

Let us clap for Seun please.

2. Ebube

My attention has been drawn to reports that Obasanjo and Buhari are having an El Classico clash.

That is no El Classico.

It is more like Barcelona v Mamelodi Sundowns

— Ebube D Statesman (@akaebube) May 23, 2018

We are confused oo! Who is the giant and who is the baby?

Ebube, do us the favour of telling us please.

3. Henry

Many of those who marched against Abacha's dark days are today queuing behind President Buhari to hail the same Abacha.

— Henry Shield (@henryshield) May 23, 2018

Henry, ma binu… that is how Nigerians are. Loyalty is one of our problems.

4. Kiss Daniel

https://www.instagram.com/p/BjHKOoSh6Mp/?taken-by=iamkizzdaniel

He is moving on! ——- Kizz Daniel!!

5. Segun Awosanya

For those being fooled, believe the serpentine ex-clergy at your own risk. If he’s for real he would’ve supported & championed the #EndSARS #ReformPoliceNG campaign but he didn’t want to risk appearing disloyal so he watched as the innocent citizens get killed. #RealCorruption https://t.co/xCVTsiHyfI

— SEGA L’éveilleur®? (@segalink) May 23, 2018

Replying to:

Killings: Osinbajo Calls For Security Reforms As Priests Are Buried In Benue. https://t.co/DoVXfECjSy

— Channels Television (@channelstv) May 23, 2018

6. Dremo

@Dremodrizzy howfar? When are we getting married?

— Jollof soup (@__ehis__) May 23, 2018

The singer’s reply is apt, no stress:

Next week https://t.co/lZLiDslUP1

— DREMO ?? (@Dremodrizzy) May 23, 2018

7. Kayode Ogundamisi

Olusegun Obasanjo likes dishing it out but he doesn't like receiving. Reading his response on @MBuhari's "show us what you did with billions spent on energy" speech was really entertaining.
Can't wait to read OBJ's next letter and of course his 3rd Force candidate for 2019. pic.twitter.com/41ZY4gBjth

— Kayode Ogundamisi (@ogundamisi) May 23, 2018