Every day on the Nigerian internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social matters, etc. Sometimes, they are just downright ridiculous. We make it our job to take down the names of these noisemakers.

Here’s our list from today:

1 Justin Gaitlin

Are we looking at Usain Bolt’s replacement? Gaitlin just won the 100M World Championship race. This was supposed to be Bolt’s final individual race and fans came in their numbers to watch him go out unbeaten, but alas, the gold was stolen by another.

Justin Gatlin & Christian Coleman take 1st & 2nd beating Usain Bolt in his final 100m race…he came 3rd. Still bows out a legend #GOAT pic.twitter.com/RGGAPeeV7F

— Emma Adu-Gyamfi (@iam_adugyamfi) August 5, 2017

"The first thing he said to me was congratulations."

Justin Gatlin says beating Usain Bolt was surrealhttps://t.co/ss8pwsyf0Q #London2017 pic.twitter.com/PuvNMWJtTv

— BBC Sport (@BBCSport) August 5, 2017

Although Gaitlin’s career has been beset by doping allegations, this act had the world in awe.

Justin Gatlin finally defeats Usain Bolt

And then did this

Respect pic.twitter.com/2VXeTFYvAx

— Tim England (@tengland150) August 5, 2017

Photo of the night… Justin Gatlin & Usain Bolt #IAAFWorldChampionships pic.twitter.com/8hVgiNrENB

— George Orfanakis (@G_Orfan) August 5, 2017

2. Usain Bolt

Twitter has gone mad over Bolt’s loss, and they are adamant he will forever remain their legend, final world championship loss notwithstanding:

Here's an interview we're not used to seeing from Usain Bolt.#London2017 #bbcathletics #BeTheNext pic.twitter.com/LLRX2bw4fM

— BBC Sport (@BBCSport) August 5, 2017

They say lightning strikes once. Well, Usain Bolt ⚡️
struck 11 times (& counting). Thank you champ!!! #London2017 pic.twitter.com/o07Xow8pNP

— Ken Chelimo (@kchelimo) August 5, 2017

Usain Bolt may have lost…….but the dude still faster than my internet.#Legend pic.twitter.com/Vv0vbRYIoD

— Castro1021 (@Castro1021) August 5, 2017

World: There's no sprinter as great as Usain Bolt!

Gatlin: Guys I kinda jus–

World: A man like no other!

Gatlin: But–

World: NO OTHER.

— Gemmar ?? McFarlane (@GemJamGym) August 5, 2017

Goodbye, Usain Bolt. The fastest man who ever lived. #Bolt #aftereffects pic.twitter.com/ThnQQpbV2v

— Max Randall (@Max_Randall) August 5, 2017

There's a time for rivalry & a time to show respect to whom it's due.
That's the spirit of sportsmanship!
Gatlin x Usain Bolt #London2017 pic.twitter.com/4t5kiUFhlq

— Umeh and 99 others (@UmehOMA) August 5, 2017

3. Kelechi Iheanacho

While Bolt might be mourning his loss at the end of an illustrious career, another sports star celebrates the beginning of new things. He is one of Nigeria’s football stars flying high our flag  ‘in the abroad’. He has finally signed his contract with Leicester City FC and from all indications, is happy to be there.

Thanks to all the Leicester fans for the support last night. I'm happy to be here at Leicester City, and hopefully success ahead #LCFC pic.twitter.com/3sUGsGlK0K

— Kelechi Iheanacho (@67Kelechi) August 5, 2017

4. @ziliyax

Did you catch the brouhaha that went on over Neymar’s transfer to PSG? The football world went bonkers. In case you missed it, we curated it all for you here.

Which brings us to this:

Man U: Hello PSG! We want Sergie Aurier.

PSG: What is the release clause of Herrera, De Gea & Pogba?

Man U: Sorry Sorry, Wrong number. ???

— El-Haji Chukwuma (@ziliyax) August 5, 2017

Anything can happen.

5. Victor Asemota

Speaking of football, you all know that’s the way to go now if you want to make serious money, abi? So the Big Chief is enquiring on your behalf:

Do Nigerian churches have football or sports clubs that they sponsor? If not, why not? They can start from there to groom young talent.

— Victor Asemota (@asemota) August 5, 2017

Don’t say nobody told you. Find your way to MFM or City of David and hone those skills, on your way to making mad dough.

My church does. @CODUnitedFC They also have this partnership with Bolton where they have a training camp for teens.

— Mallam Battycash (@Batarhe) August 5, 2017

They do it. COD, MFM, and a couple of others.No one beats MFM in this department sha.

— The Runner (@je_mc2) August 5, 2017

@asemota so also does City of David. They even have feeder teams and a female club.

— Mark Amaza (@amasonic) August 5, 2017

For example, COD United is probably the only club in the country with a full youth set-up. Plus a women's team.

— The Runner (@je_mc2) August 5, 2017

Jesu!! This is good!! https://t.co/dlTsdBrWGF

— Victor Asemota (@asemota) August 5, 2017

Excellent!!

— Victor Asemota (@asemota) August 5, 2017

6. Ukpaka

This is an important commentary on our political affairs:

The biggest challenge to governance in Africa especially Nigeria is that elites are more interested in addressing symptoms than root causes.

— UKPAKA (@RealBuch1) August 5, 2017

7. Kelechi Okafor

She is an actress and fitness buff and she’s making noise about her new studio:

A snippet of my opening speech at my studio launch yesterday. Kelechnekoff Studio is now in Peckham lets get it on and poppin' ☺️ pic.twitter.com/52eUsXN6JN

— Kelechi Okafor (@kelechnekoff) August 5, 2017

When you're meant to be hosting a launch party but the music calls forth the hoe in you… pic.twitter.com/pFM7CAkwb4

— Kelechi Okafor (@kelechnekoff) August 5, 2017

Big up @ProfoundPervert who killed us all by doing a buff pole dance performance to @officialgiggs "whipping excursion" (vid soon come) pic.twitter.com/gXuMW1kKXx

— Kelechi Okafor (@kelechnekoff) August 5, 2017

Reactions:

Your journey has been so inspiring. You've never let anyone steal your magic – although they've tried. Congratulations ???

— #Odyssey (@Cherry_phoenix) August 5, 2017

????CONGRATULATIONS KELECHI!!! when they pushed you out the room you created your own. inspirational???? https://t.co/ACCwY4YCQx

— DanielléDASH GIFLord (@DanielleDASH) August 5, 2017

Represent!

8. Ava Duvernay

Like Ava said:

Become your ancestor's wildest dream. pic.twitter.com/4xvyBZauwY

— Ava DuVernay (@ava) August 5, 2017

The best thing ever.

9. Oluyemi

Nigerians are not about to let this joke go.

WATCH:

BREAKING NEWS: President Mohammed Buhari arrives Abuja airport in Grand style. pic.twitter.com/laDQMn7UhV

— Oluyemi Fasipe ?? (@YemieFASH) August 5, 2017

10. Mutumba

Bash has made crying girls a relationship goal, it would seem.

If she looks good when she cries, keep her.

— Bash Mutumba ?????? (@BashMutumba) August 5, 2017

Reactions:

Is she dating onions? https://t.co/kKcYq3xRPa

— Chidi Okereke (@Chydee) August 5, 2017

Lmfao… is that a fetish it something.

— Kelvinbagwell® (@kelvinbagwell02) August 5, 2017

Bonus

British English: Knickers
American Eng: Shorts
Nigerian Eng: Short knicker

We hv problems cos we copy everyone at once..I even copied this? pic.twitter.com/I9docAwtd7

— ? 27th July King? (@samuelgigs) August 5, 2017

Enjoy the new week!