by Cheta Nwanze

Apparently, Edo state has the lowest rate of teenage pregnancy in Nigeria. Katsina has the highest. I would blame lack of awareness of the benefits of Postinor in the latter.

Like most events/bodies in Nigeria, No Future Ambition’s bark is far worse than its bite. This is probably what informed the decision of Police Machine, Bubayaro FC, Plateau United Feeders and Akurba FC in those record breaking footie games two weeks ago. Now No Future Ambition has suspended all four clubs and is threatening hailstorms and worse, but well, going through their record, it becomes quite clear that Police Machine and Plateau United Feeders will be promoted.

But this lack of perspective is not restricted to footie and No Future Ambition. Why, a lot of Nigerians are “feeling outraged” by the bolekaja that took place in Rivers last week. Whenever people mention how much of a travesty the whole thing is, I find myself bemused. In the last elections, the really large turnout was for the office of Prez, and people actually voted for “the man” and “not the party”. So why are people “surprised” and “outraged” when the bus conductors who now occupy the offices display their true colours?

By the way, speaking of the Prez, apparently, he is personally responsible for the lack of an Arab Spring around these parts. He is also responsible for world peace.

Bits and Bobs

Ismaila Adetoro, a police informer, was paraded with the people he was informing on by the men-in-black in Lagos. Expect crime rates to go up as less and less people become willing to volunteer information.

Apparently, Edo state has the lowest rate of teenage pregnancy in Nigeria. Katsina has the highest. I would blame lack of awareness of the benefits of Postinor in the latter.

Finally, before I have to shoot off to the people who actually own my time, can someone forward this tonic to Baba Suwe? After the campaign I did for him on Smooth 98.1 FM’s Freshly Pressed this morning, I would expect my 10% of the N25 millions that we hope the Big Wigs would award him soon.

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Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.