Every day on Twitter, I see people crying out for relationships. Oh no, it’s never done overtly. That’ll be weird. It’s usually more along the lines of…
“Hey guys! Look at this pot of rice I cooked. #WifeMaterial lol”
“Hello Twitter friends! I just killed a lion with my bare hands while building shelter for one-legged homeless little kids. #HusbandMaterial10Yards”
You see that “lol” over there? She’s not really laughing. That tweet just means “OMG, I can cook so why am I still single?” Mr. Atlas, too, can’t help but wonder why he’s still single despite everything. I’d say we start a Nigerian match.com for these people, but why do that when you have the OFFICE.
Seriously, you should date your coworkers.
I’ll state my reasons on why you should date a colleague and here they are:
- You should date in the office simply because you two can scheme and plan effectively on how to make money from your company/organisation. There’s a reason they say, “Two heads are better than one.” It’s for planning white-collar crimes or maybe a sexual innuendo, either way it’s a great reason to date a co-worker.
- Another reason to date in the office? To make your life more complicated! Only boring people live simple lives and the one thing we must always strive to avoid is living boring lives. That and being trapped in the friend zone.
- Dating a co-worker is basically saying: I want to be confronted by my stupid decisions every morning when I walk into the office, and throughout the day as the said decision walks by laughing at a joke that is not even funny; being confronted by stupid decisions allow us grow as humans, don’t ask me how, it’s science!
- One of the all-important reasons to dating a colleague is to make sure you’re the centre of all office gossip because let’s face it, Linda Ikeji just isn’t enough.
- Are you tired of having the same dreary bland conversation everyday with your significant other? “Hi! How was your day?”, “Anything happen at the office today?” want to never have to face this? Then ask your doctor if dating your co-worker is right for you (IT IS!).
- Are you insecure? Over-protective? Want to make sure your significant other never cheats on you on when they do, have the proof to confront them?
Hey babe! I called you at 2:15 pm today no answer, went to your desk at 2:17 and you weren’t there… you were cheating on me in the bathroom right! I have your missing 3 minutes to prove it! Oh! You’re going out of town for a conference? Well, I checked HR and you have no conferences coming up. So you want to leave me for that slut? Over my dead body! You and I are going to sit here and eat this food I made with Otapiapia… with love!
Dear readers, I hope I’ve been able to give you adequate reasons on why you should date a colleague. Anyway, till next time.
Have a lovely day!
Faisal Adamu is a strategist, free thinker, constantly in a state of “perturbedness”, aspiring satirist, ignorant. Find him on Twitter.
Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.
Hilarious brother of mine!
Faisa Adamu is a funny guy. LOOOOOL
Yes, thank you! You should follow me in twitter @notfaizzy @notgoodluck I will constantly try to give y’all humour.
Its better you call it Mutual Nice times with co-worker instead of Dating. What if you break up or any kind of mis understanding happens. I think “Nice Time” with mutual understanding should be the work rather than date. This also helps you both emotionally as co-worker….lol
Its better you call it Mutual Nice times with co-worker instead of Dating. What if you break up or any kind of mis understanding happens. I think “Nice Time” with mutual understanding should be the word rather than date. This also helps you bond emotionally as co-worker….lol
thank you, boom boom for this invaluable piece of advice on this satirical post, your sage words have been duly noted, you shall have first consultation on any other fluff articles i intend to write.
Lol..good ol faizzy 🙂
Dope! My Favourite: You should date in the office simply because you two can scheme and plan effectively on how to make money FOR and from your company/organisation. There’s a reason they say, “Two heads are better than one.”
I hope to see more from this dude thumbs up, good read.
Haha! Lovely piece. I’m so thinking about dating my really hot female coworker……
NOT.
It will appear I have failed to convince you in this matter. My mission has failed! My honour gone. I will now have to perform the ritual harakiri…
Good piece hmmm does make you think.
Should I date my colleague? But what happens when we break up! The awkwardness in the office….that’s why I hate office romance.. and where is my me time?
For your fears, just read my reply to the above comment. It can apply to you too.
Namaste
‘break up: simple have him/her fired or sent to jail — if while dating you didn’t uncover enough things to incriminate your partner then you weren’t really dating!’
That quote there made the write-up complete for me. good stuff!
Haha. Thanks! I aim to please 🙂
Hilarious!!! … I’m sorry though, I can’t date a co-worker. Whatever happens when you break up or find out he/she is cheating? You’ll be physically&emotionally depressed 5 days out of 7. And then your weekends will be miserable because your thoughts are filled with what the other person is doing instead of being with you. Seeing him/her everyday at work, happy-moved on, will indirectly subconsciously make you have evil thoughts about he/she – you’ll feel trapped in your own skin and your job will suffer. I could on on and on about the cons of this but it’s different strokes for different folks. The pros are mostly ignited at the start of the relationship – love is still shacking them. After a while, it wears out especially if not handled maturedly. As for the “cheat” part, I don’t have issues with a cheating partner, but just don’t do it to my face – I mustn’t know physically!
I totally understand and see for every situation there are solutions…
break up: simple have him/her fired or sent to jail — if while dating you didn’t uncover enough things to incriminate your partner then you weren’t really dating!
physically & emotionally depressed: i don’t see the problem, you have a valid excuse to go bat-shit crazy here! please, use it, if it works for white people, it will work for you; after all, there’s a religious quote that says: “we are all created equal” to go against this is to go against God! don’t go against God!
miserable weekends: only one way out of this: work, work, work and make more money, make so much money you can buy weekends, this is what you should do, unless you work for free, then you’re on your own.
seeing him/her everyday: refer to breakup solution… in fact, refer to breakup solution for everything!
Stay blessed.
Looool Faizzy! Otapiapia! A piece of awesomeness, thank you for the good time. One more reason: Office holiday parties get less embarrassing as there’s no needed strategy to develop on how not to be the only one going home alone. Cheers!
Bisous!