Somebody gag them, they need to shut it. Honestly. Arranged from least cringe worthy to most cringe worthy.
- “But let me remind you, all of the assets that the Ministry of Power used to control power were sold by the last administration before I came. And so if you don’t have power, it is not the government’s problem. Let us be honest.”- Babatunde Raji Fashola
Three-in-one minister, Babatunde Raji Fashola speaking at the Nextier Power Dialogue in December. The Minister of Power, Works and Housing, continuing his administration’s favorite past times of denying promises and shifting responsibility to the previous government. No surprise here.
- “MURIC rejects Falz’ explanation that the the girls in hijab in his ‘Shaku Shaku’ dance symbolize the Chibok girls because nothing in the video indicates that the girls represent the Chibok girls. At least none of the Chibok girls have been seen dancing like a drunkard. They are always in pensive mood. Do they have any cause to be dancing? Are they happy? This video is the most detestable, odious and insidious Islam-bashing in recent time.’’– Professor Ishaq Akintola
This extract from the lengthy diatribe against Falz’s This is Nigeria video signed by Professor Ishaq Akintola, director of the Muslim Rights Concern (MURIC) is sad, funny and tragic.
- “We are like best friends and outside this house nothing changes, Miracle is my everything. I have a boyfriend and I love him.”- Nina Onyenobi
Poor, confused #BBNaija housemate, Nina cannot quite decide if she wants to be with boyfriend Collins, or housemate, Miracle. But why choose when she can have them both?
- “They keep saying ‘he cancelled the freest election’ but why not give us credit for conducting that election,”- Ibrahim Babangida
The ghosts of June 12, 1993 are obviously still haunting military dictator Ibrahim Babangida, turning his brains to mush. How else does one explain this kind of failed rationalization? Someday, he will take responsibility for his role in truncating democracy in Nigeria.
- ‘’Then I fell pregnant. It wasn’t planned, it just happened; though we talked about having a child together just two months before I fell pregnant…and we laughed. But after I fell pregnant, things became extremely weird between us.’’- Linda Ikeji
Linda Ikeji, a privileged adult who owes no one anywhere an explanation for how she chooses to carry on with her private life, going on in a needless post that is problematic on so many levels.
- ‘’She can’t even believe it lol, she probably fucked for the award #Headies- Ebiye
Comedian Ebiye vomiting his ugly mind on Snapchat after soul singer Aramide beat a strong line up of male nominees to win the Headies trophy for Best Alternative Song. He was promptly dragged for misogyny and was forced to put out an apology thereafter.
- “Who cares about youth service? I don’t bloody care whether she (Kemi Adeosun) did youth service or not. It’s irrelevant as far as I am concerned…I don’t believe it. I don’t see anything serious about not doing youth service. I don’t see anything serious about it.’’- Professor Itse Sagay
Somebody please check to ensure the learned gentleman Professor still has his marbles intact.
- “More than 60 per cent of the population is below 30, a lot of them haven’t been to school and they are claiming that Nigeria is an oil producing country, therefore, they should sit and do nothing, and get housing, healthcare, education free.”- President Muhammadu Buhari
President Buhari, a lifelong beneficiary of government largesse painting Nigerian youths with a tar brush during a panel appearance with world leaders at the Commonwealth Business Forum in London.
- “You can’t sit down here and just make conclusions. Yes, the herdsmen values even the life of the cow more than his own life. That is how God has created him.’’- Aisha Dukku
People of Dukku/Nafada Federal Constituency of Gombe State, here is your rep, Aisha Dukku and the quality of the representation that she brings to the table. Must be the maggi in her stew.
- “It might sound selfish, but we can’t all be specialists. We can’t. Some will be farmers, some will be politicians. The man who sews my gown is a doctor. He makes the best gowns. And some will be specialists, some will be GPs, some will be farmers.”- Isaac Adewole
Minister of Health, Isaac Adewole with his head in the clouds, responding to a reporter’s query on how he plans to address the difficulties faced by doctors in getting opportunities for residency training.
The writer tweets from @drwill20
Wilfred Okiche is a medic, reader, writer, journalist, culture critic, and occasional ruffler of feathers. One of the most influential critics working in the Nigerian culture space, his writing has appeared extensively in platforms like YNaija.com and 360nobs.com. Okiche has provided editorial assistance to the UK Guardian and has had his work published in African Arguments, Africa is a Country and South Africa’s City Press. He has received trainings and acquired experience in multimedia and online journalism. He also appears on the culture television show, Africana Literati. He has participated at critic programs in Lagos, Durban and Rotterdam.
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