10 daily habits guaranteed to set your sex life on fire

By Annelize Steyn

A low libido is, in most cases, a mind and not a body thing.

We live in a quick-fix era and bookshelves groan under the weight of self-help books. Although these types of books do serve a purpose… if you were to follow each of the hints that they give, you’d have to give up your day job! Here are 10 daily short-cuts to marital bliss you can easily make part of your routine. Try to implement the following habits one at a time, or all together, and watch as your sex life explodes!

1. Make time for morning sex
Wake up two hours earlier than usual. Wash your face with cold water and sit somewhere in a warm corner of the house. Use an hour of the time to visualize how you’d like your day to turn out. Have a quiet time, and pray for your sex life. Ask God for a positive attitude towards sex, a higher sex drive, or whatever it is that you are trusting Him for. After an hour, go and wake your husband by planting kisses all the way up his spine. You now have an hour to spare and can enjoy it talking to each other and spending time together before the kids wake up and your normal routine begins… or you can spend the time doing something even better. There’s a reason for a morning glory! David Strovny writes on askmen.com that men often experience a sexual peak in the morning (yes, that early morning erection!) whilst women tend to peak in the evening.

2. An ‘I love you’ a day
It’s wonderful if you and your mate already find the time to tell each other you love each other every day, but if one of you is always in a rush, it is easy to miss each other between a quick goodbye kiss and the natural rhythms of life. Put your love in writing – every day. Whether you write ‘I love you’ on the shower door while he’s showering, or sprinkle cinnamon on his oats in the shape of a heart – don’t allow one day to go by without telling him you love him, even if you’re cross with him. This may develop into a game between the two of you which involves one of the most important ingredients in a successful marriage relationship – fun! And as you develop the courage to express your love, you will also develop the courage to leave slightly naughtier messages! But what does this have to do with sex? Everything! Show us a man who can resist a woman who is so in love and has so much admiration for her husband that she cannot help confessing it daily?

3. Avoid ‘square eyes’
Limit the time you spend in front of the television to two hours per day. Avoid falling into the routine of collapsing in front of the TV, eating dinner while you watch, and getting up only when it’s time to go to bed. They are so many things wrong with this scenario – including that it leaves no time for talking, or enjoying dinner around the table. Also, try and avoid watching the news at night and rather read the papers in the morning. Enough things happen during the day to take your attention off the negative news, but worrying about who the next president will be when you climb into bed can be a death knell for a carefree sex life! First prize is to remove the television from your bedroom completely!

4. Sweat outside the bedroom too
We really don’t want to sound like a broken record, but exercise is good for you – especially for your sex life. It keeps you fit, and will ensure you don’t have to gasp for breath after only a few minutes of fun in bed. With a bit of extra muscle tone, he’ll also be able to pin you against the wall more easily, or carry you across the threshold – so take him with you to the gym! Exercise is vital for stamina and performance, and it also does wonders for your self esteem – which will mean that you’ll be more inclined to experiment. And if you can let go of inhibitions, your sex life will hot up immediately! If gym isn’t your forte, dance for your husband every night when you get undressed.

5. Become sensually aware
Remember where your most powerful sex organ lies! A low libido is, in most cases, a mind and not a body thing. This is why so many sexologists recommend fantasies for people who are experiencing problems in the bedroom. The more you think about sex, the more sex you’re going to want to have. Start to see everything around you from a sensual perspective. Men are very good at this! While you make the bed, think about the last time that you and your husband ‘creased’ the bed covers, or what you’ll do beneath them tonight. The whole of life is sensual… colors, people, words, music, food… tune your brain in to notice the sensual things in life. Learn to exploit your senses by using them to notice the way in which you move your body, to appreciate the feel of wind blowing through your hair, or relish the smell of your husband against your lace bra in bed…

6. Eat your way to a better sex life!
We don’t want to force another cliché down your throat, although it would be better than a doughnut – because no matter how many sources tell you how bad obesity is for your heart, we’d like to remind you how bad it is for your sex life. Firstly, it makes you feel awful – and who can enjoy sex when the man beneath you weighs half as much as you do? And, of course, it’s difficult to have sex comfortably when you’ve just eaten a lamb shank and half a tub of ice cream. Fit Squad Nutritionist Amanda Ursell claims that everyone feels sexier when they eat healthier – so sort your diet out in order to ensure a better time in bed! She recommends that you start by getting rid of ‘bad’ foods (otherwise known as ‘nice’ foods!) such as cakes, biscuits and rich puddings. Don’t eat too late at night, and avoid caffeine from late afternoon onwards. Limit your alcohol intake, and learn to eat slowly (savor your food). Carbohydrates which release energy slowly, like those found in pastas and wholegrain bread, will give you the stamina you need for sex, and foods that contain iron, such as red meat, eggs and dark green vegetables, will combat exhaustion. Foods that will get you in the right mood for sex include steak, cottage cheese, salmon and low-fat yogurt – as these all release dopamine. Oily fish will help to improve your blood flow and the sensitivity of your skin, while protein-rich foods like fish, chicken and tofu will improve your hormone levels.

7. Don’t underestimate the power of sleep
Sleep is a wonderful tonic. Allow yourself 15 minutes to fall asleep at night, and if you don’t fall asleep during that time, get up and do something until you feel tired. Read, but don’t turn the television on or work on your computer. Try and go to sleep at the same time every day and don’t change your sleep routine over weekends. Ensure that you get a little bit of sunlight every day as this stimulates your body’s melatonin production (a hormone which stimulates sleep) and avoid caffeine after four in the afternoon.

8. Cardinal Kegel
These are done by contracting your pelvic floor muscles, and then relaxing them, as if you were urinating and then suddenly wanted to stop. Clifford Penner, a sex therapist from California, explains that these exercises don’t only force you to concentrate on physical sensation and focus on that area of yourself, but they also improve your blood circulation to the pelvis which assists with arousal. Aline P. Zoldbrod, co-author of Sex Talk, believes these exercises strengthen your pelvic muscles, and that when you experience an orgasm after exercising in this way, it could be more intense than usual. (cosmopolitan.com)

9. Make your home a nudist retreat..
…whether hubby’s home, or not. When you’ve finished showering, don’t put any clothes on. Cover your whole body with moisturizer, brush your teeth and comb your hair. Make the bed, and sit on top of the covers while reading a magazine in all your naked glory. The secret is not to do anything that isn’t sexy, like search for nail polish in the back of your cupboard or clip your toenails. Use these few minutes to get in touch with your sexual self. This will make you aware of your body, not to mention create a sight to behold for hubby.

10. Wear sexy underwear every day
This may not sound very practical, and perhaps it would take a lot for you to throw your trusted cotton panties into the garden refuse, but believe us – this habit will stand you in good stead in the bedroom. Buy yourself good-quality, sexy underwear. Get yourself professionally measured to make sure that you’re wearing the right size bra, and invest in at least seven sets of matching bras and panties. Rather skimp on other things in your cupboard, because underwear is the closest thing that you wear to your body, and the only piece of material that comes into contact with your hotspots. Become aware of how underwear feels against your body. You might like lace, or satin, or favor smooth material. It doesn’t matter that no one sees your underwear – you know it’s there and that’s what counts! When hubby he sees you fleetingly in the morning in these beautiful pieces, he will go to work with those images in his mind…. and you can just imagine what that does for him!

The best daily habit that you can develop, and which won’t be much of a challenge if you implement those we’ve already mentioned, is to have sex… every day. Sex is good for the heart! The happiest people are those who have the most sex – this is a scientific fact. Added to this, it strengthens your bond with your mate, reduces stress, makes your skin softer, improves the senses and fights allergies. The list is endless… but who said you needed a reason!

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Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.

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