Lagos State is popularly known for its dating scene and what many have called the ‘Situationship Epidemic,’ and it has us wondering why the dating scene is the way it is. Unlike previous generations, this generation has seen more young people opt out of the marital phase of life that was common among older generations.
While personal factors are at play in these decisions, economic factors also shape the current state of the dating scene in Lagos. What are they?
- The Prioritization of Stability
A large number of people in the city are focused on building stable careers, attaining financial stability, and healing from the city’s busy pace. This leads them to treat self-care as a prerequisite to a relationship and leave little to no room for commitment in a serious relationship. Many young people in Lagos have said they simply do not have the time to maintain a stable relationship without compromising their careers or financial stability.
- The Illusion of Choice
The dating scene in Lagos creates the illusion of a large number of people to date or choose from, leading people to believe there is always a better option one swipe away, inadvertently encouraging them to keep their options open.
- Fear of Vulnerability
Due to the fast-paced lifestyle in Lagos, people are often in and out of relationships, and for many, that introduces a fear of vulnerability. To see vulnerability as a necessity, these people are expected to put effort into their relationships. In addition, labels make connections “real,” bringing the potential for heartbreak and making ambiguity feel safer.
The Reasoning Behind Seeing Situationships as a Solution
Situationships have become the go-to in Lagos’s dating scene because they offer intimacy and companionship without the responsibility or pressure that comes with a formal title. In situationships, many enjoy the comfort of having a special person, even if the relationship is undefined; the benefits of the relationship help keep them together and wanting more.
Additionally, this generation is now hyper-aware of the problems surrounding marriage, which makes them find being in a defined relationship a challenge, as it is often expected to lead to marriage.
What we think
Although there is an abundance of young people in Lagos in situationships, there are still people in defined relationships, as evidenced by the wedding content readily available online these days. Situationships may be popular in the city, but they are not necessarily a cause for alarm, as they are often a phase for many people, and for others, the fear of commitment is a path they are working to unlearn.
