by Erica Avesian
If you can pull this off unnoticed, good for you. But chances are he will start to notice a shadow in his path. This is when things could get weird. When he finds out this shadowy figure is you, he will catch on and tell his friends about the creepy girl who is always following him.
Love can make us do crazy things, especially the kind of unrequited love that occurs during a one-sided crush. We might think these are innocent behaviors that bring us one step closer to our happily ever afters, but they aren’t. If your crushes are always running for the hills, it’s not him, it’s you. Let Her Campus fill you in on 11 reasons why this may be the case.
1. You text him 5 minutes after he gives you his number.
And when he doesn’t answer, you text him again and again and again. “Where are you? Want to hang out? Come get me. Hello. Where are you? Why are you ignoring me?” He’s ignoring you because you’re acting like a crazy person. If he doesn’t answer you the first five times, he’s not going to answer you the sixth time either. No matter how hard you want to try again, remember that double (and triple, and quadruple) texting is a big no-no. Chris, a student at Michigan State University, shares his story: “I went out on a date with this one girl and she legit texted me nonstop wanting to hang out every single day, even when I didn’t respond to some.” Stalker!
2. You like every single one of his profile pics.
Not only will he see how obsessed you are, but so will his 1,052 friends. It’s one thing to stalk him in private, but another to publicly display your interest in him. Do yourself and everyone else a favor and hide him from your newsfeed. When you can’t see his new shirtless pic, you won’t be tempted to keep over-liking (or continue to embarrass yourself). “I had just gotten home from a night out and my friend and I thought it would be fun to look through every one of my crush’s profile pics all the way back to his preteen days. We liked everything—from his baby face pictures to his first high school dance,” says Gina, a collegiette from Western Michigan University. Hopefully your crush will notice you did the liking in the middle of the night and blame it on the alcohol, but if he doesn’t he’s sure to get freaked out when he sees you liked pictures of him skiing, posing with his preschool friend, waiting in line at Disney World…
3. You show him your Pinterest wedding board.
Guys already hate Pinterest enough, and when you combine it with a discussion of your future marriage and children, he will want to run away and never talk to you again. Think of how you would feel if he made you sit through his entire Fantasy Football draft. If you make this terrible mistake of showing him the cake, napkins, and flowers that will be at your wedding, you should probably start making a future cat lady Pinterest board.
4. You get caught stalking his Facebook profile in a large lecture.
Facebook stalking can be fun and sometimes even necessary (when you do it in the comforts of your own home), but that point when you get bored during lecture is not the time to do it. You never know who’s sitting near you and spying on your screen. “This one time I was sitting in class and I was creeping on my crush. By creeping I mean looking at every single photo that he has ever had. I get a Facebook message, so begrudgingly I leave his photos (I was in pretty deep too) to see who messaged me. It was him. He was sitting behind me because he came in late to class. He told me he was flattered. I hurried up and closed my laptop and we never talked about it again,” says Haven, a student at Chatham University.
5. You hook up with another guy… right in front of him
You’re not technically dating so it’s okay to see what other options are around, but try to be discreet about it. If you have any idea that he might show up where you are, keep your flirting to a minimum. Kissing another guy right in front of him might be the behavior of choice for a jealous girlfriend, but not for a girl like you who is trying to make him into your boyfriend.“I invited this guy over and he was taking too long to get to my place so I called up my other crush who showed up right away. The two of us headed back to his place and started making out along the way, right as the original guy pulled up,” says Michelle*, a collegiette from the University of Michigan. There’s really no easy way out for this one. You could deny the whole thing and tell your first crush he was just seeing things, you could call over your first crush and ask him to join you two, or you could just wait until you get to the bedroom if a situation like this ever happens again.
6. You change your Facebook status to “in a relationship” after a week of talking to him.
You think guys move too fast? You don’t want to be the one to jump the gun before you’ve even gone on a real date (and no, randomly falling into each other at the bar does not count). In his eyes, you might be just another booty call. He might even think your new relationship is with another guy, in which case he will probably just stop returning your calls. When people start liking your new relationship status, the damage will already be done. Save yourself the embarrassment and change your relationship status in real life before you do it on the Internet.
7. You find out his class schedule and dress up really cute, always making sure you take the same route as he does.
If you can pull this off unnoticed, good for you. But chances are he will start to notice a shadow in his path. This is when things could get weird. When he finds out this shadowy figure is you, he will catch on and tell his friends about the creepy girl who is always following him. He will then change his route and avoid you in any way possible. The worst is when you smile and wave and he doesn’t even notice or acknowledge you. Stop chasing your crush and instead eye f—k the hotties who walk by you every day.
8. You get too drunk and puke all over him.
After one too many mixed drinks, a few shots, and a keg stand, you’re feeling like you did after your 21st birthday celebration. It’s bad enough to puke on yourself, but it’s way worse when you puke on your crush. You’ll be known on campus as the Vomit Comet—not something you ever want to be called. When you get the feeling that things are going to get messy, run to the bathroom or look for the nearest bucket or garbage can, not his brand new Sperry’s. And try not to get that drunk in the first place, for many reasons…
9. You ask him to meet your parents before you are even official.
The whole “meet the parents” thing is already awkward enough. It’s something that should be saved for longer down the road—think after numerous dates, hook-ups, and PDAs. Ask him to meet your friends first. If he gets freaked out by this, do not even think about inviting him to your cousin’s first birthday party. “I was with this guy for about a month and decided to invite him to my grandparents’ anniversary party. Well good thing I didn’t, because a couple days later he sent me a text saying he couldn’t date me anymore and had recently met someone else,” says Vanessa*, a student at Florida State University. It’s okay if your guy comes over and your parents meet him at the door and they have a little small talk, but don’t plan a formal dinner meeting too soon.
10. You start giving his best girl friend a dirty look every time you see her.
Calm down, girlfriend, there’s more than enough of him to go around. Just because she’s a girl doesn’t mean she’s hooking up with him. It sucks that she’s one of the prettiest girls on campus and knows how to work a crowd, but don’t be intimidated by this. If you give her a dirty look, she’ll most likely relay this message to your crush, and next time you run into him on campus you’ll be the one getting a dirty look. Make peace with his best girl friend any way you can. Do the whole Mean Girls thing and be “frenemies” with her if you have to… it’s better than nothing.
11. He finds you crying outside the bar, for the third weekend in a row.
And to make matters worse, you can’t stop hiccupping. This is the ultimate way to become “that girl”. Drunk crying is not only unattractive; it also makes you look weak and pathetic. Yeah, your emotions might act up after having a few too many tequila shots, but save the crying for your best friends, therapist, or even your dog.
Read more in Her Campus
Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.