by Nick Roy
The last thing your friend is going to do when you tell him to relax is actually relax. If your bro is annoyed, the last thing you’d do is tell him what he should do with his mood. You’re playing with fire here, fella. Chances are, he’ll get more pissed and this may get you a fist in your mouth.
No matter how weird they are, how embarrassing they can be for you – they are your friends! And you love them, despite it – and in some cases, because of it. And hey! They are the only people you can be embarrassing with yourself.
We accept it- bromance is an integral part of our lives, much like Football. Of course, we love women, but when it comes to our brothers, there is no competition to begin with. With bromance comes bro-code, the unsaid manifesto that essentially defines a man’s friendship to another man. And while there are rules on how and what you’ll say to your friend, there are other set of rules on what you cannot say to him. We help list out 5 such things.
1. Don’t be offended, but
If you need to have to put such a warning in the beginning of the statement, rest assured you’re ready to offend your friend. There is no way nothing nice is coming along. You would never say ‘Bro, don’t be offended, but that’s some brilliant scruff.’ Nothing nice comes when you add a preamble. It’s a good rule of thumb to go by.
2. Can I have a sip of your beer?
No, you cannot and must not. You can share fries, wine, heck whisky even. Not enough? Okay, go ahead and take a bite of that burger too. But, beer is not meant to be shared by the dudes. You buy your own bottle and drink from that very bottle. Men also don’t share the drinks from the same bottle.
3. Relax bro!
The last thing your friend is going to do when you tell him to relax is actually relax. If your bro is annoyed, the last thing you’d do is tell him what he should do with his mood. You’re playing with fire here, fella. Chances are, he’ll get more pissed and this may get you a fist in your mouth. Imagine if the situation was reversed and someone asked you to relax instead. You see what we’re saying!
4. I love you
Only in the most emotional of states should you utter these words, otherwise zip it. In fact, you’re my boy, I’m there for you or I got your back works equally well too. Now if your brother is actually your best friend, then this doesn’t hold true. But if you were saying it to a guy who’s non relative- then steer clear. Yes!
5. That’s why you probably haven’t met anyone
If you’re in a conversation with your buddy where this is even remotely relevant, it’s still not the best time to say it. He might be talking about something insane or forbidden he is doing, ‘I’m going to a lot of strip clubs these days,’ or ‘I can’t stop flirting with that hot new co-worker’, then they are probably not looking out for someone to lecture them on their wrong-doings. You just have to be there for him, and not pass any snide comment.
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Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.