by Melissa Noble
If sex positions were ice cream, missionary would be your standard vanilla. But that doesn’t mean couples should shy away from exploring this classic. “This is by far the most popular of all the sex positions,” Kerner says. “And while it’s unlikely to lead to female orgasm, you have extended eye contact, which is great for intimacy.”
While some couples may think the key to great sex is to stock up on Kama Sutra books and experiment with complicated pretzel-like positions, sex author Ian Kerner doesn’t think couples should have to try that hard to have mind-blowing sex. In fact, those reading will be shocked to learn that Kerner—who has published six books dedicated to the pursuit of satisfying sex—thinks some of the more basic sex positions are best.
“There’s a lot to be said for having a routine,” he says. “The female brain needs to be relaxed in order for it to activate and let go. The pressure to try new things interrupts that process.” Kerner, who authored She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman, admits that some outside-the-box maneuvering does lead to a healthy dopamine boost in bed, but for the hands-down best couple sex? The backwards wheelbarrow may be overrated.
1. Missionary position. If sex positions were ice cream, missionary would be your standard vanilla. But that doesn’t mean couples should shy away from exploring this classic. “This is by far the most popular of all the sex positions,” Kerner says. “And while it’s unlikely to lead to female orgasm, you have extended eye contact, which is great for intimacy.”
2. Coital alignment. While reaching orgasm isn’t necessary for profound, connective sex, it’s great if it happens—and it’s more likely to happen if you stimulate your clitoris. The coital alignment position is a variation of missionary that aims to push your lady button by pressing the two of you pelvis to pelvis. “This is the signature position of lovemaking,” Kerner says. “The woman wraps her legs around the man, and he uses slow, deeper, penetrative thrusts. It’s important his pelvic bone rubs against the vulva and clitoris, grinding, rocking back and forth.”
3. Woman on top. “This is the position that most consistently leads to female orgasm. It really allows a woman to take a lot of control during sex, and guys love it because they don’t have to work that hard,” he says. It’s also the best position for couples to try if your man is, uh, a quick shooter. “If he suffers from premature ejaculation, then this position is great. He should spend a lot of time orally stimulating her, getting her close to the brink, before she gets on top.” Even if he still comes first, Kerner says that, depending upon a man’s age and lifestyle, he should still be able to maintain some stiffness post-orgasm. Some men can stay hard for up to two minutes.
4. Side by Side. This is another position that’s great for intimacy due to the spooning nature of side-by-side sex. “This is a very comfortable choice as you can synchronize movements and women have more ability to control the guy’s penis, using it as a sex toy.” While hugging each other, he says, it may behoove couples to try some Tantric breathing techniques, which help put off premature ejaculation. However, if a guy feels as if he’s about to come, “it’s easy for him to pull out and press the head of the penis. This is good for prolonged lovemaking.” Tantric Sex 101
5. Doggy style. While not the most romantic position, doggy style allows a guy to achieve a lot of friction and deep thrusting. If your man takes forever to come, doggy style might be a great position to end with. “A lot of guys with delayed ejaculation have gotten used to their hand or suffer from side effects from medication, but doggy style all but assures orgasm due to the high degree of friction and penetration.” Guys also like this one because it makes them feel powerful and animalistic. It’s less like making love and more like f*cking.
6.) Reverse cowgirl. By riding a man backwards, women get a healthy dose of G-spot stimulation. It’s also easy for her to manually stimulate her clitoris in this position, too. The reverse cowgirl works just fine for men, Kerner says. Guys really only need two things in order to have successful sex: friction for the penis, and pressure.
7.) Standing up, against the wall, outside the bedroom, location sex. Every couple has to try location/thrill-seeking sex at least once. While it’s unlikely she’ll orgasm bent over, ears primed for the rustling of leaves during a hiking quickie, the thrill and passion of spontaneous sex is a must for all couples.
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