by Corina Dondas

I know you might say that you’re always extremely busy and exhausted so you don’t have enough time to spend with your loved one. But, guess what? A lot of people have to balance work and family all the time and they still manage to find enough time to spend with their partner.

1. BEING A COUPLE SHOULD BE YOUR FIRST PRIORITY

One of the most effective ways to feel more secure as a couple is by turning your relationship into your first priority, ahead of your own individual needs. Try to think more often about your partner’s emotional needs and take them into account the next time you make a decision that concerns both of you. If being a couple is your first priority, then you will feel more secure with each other and more strong as a couple.

2. FIND THE PERFECT BALANCE

You do know that famous saying “what you put in is what you get out”? Well, it can perfectly describe your relationship too. If you want to feel more secure as a couple, you should try to find the perfect balance between what you both put into it. If one of you puts 100% and the other only 10%, then your relationship will be imbalanced. Ideally, you should both give 100% effort all the time or at least try to find a balance so that you both receive something in return.

3. DON’T NEGLECT YOUR PARTNER

You do know that it takes two to tango, so that’s why each of you should participate in your relationship. Don’t neglect your partner because, by doing that, you could eventually hurt yourself! If you want your needs to be met consistently, try to show your partner love, security, and also safety. If one or both of you are abusive emotionally, physically, or spiritually then your relationship is at risk. Try to value personal growth and work on overcoming your individual insecurities together.

4. SPEND ENOUGH TIME TOGETHER

I know you might say that you’re always extremely busy and exhausted so you don’t have enough time to spend with your loved one. But, guess what? A lot of people have to balance work and family all the time and they still manage to find enough time to spend with their partner. Take a look at your daily schedule and see what changes you can make in order to include some time to spend with the one you love. You could go out on a date or simply stay at home and talk for a couple of hours; the choice is yours.

5. HAVE PERSONAL INTEGRITY

If you feel a little insecure both as individuals and as a couple, you might tend to say or do all kind of things and not take any responsibility for them. You don’t need to gain approval from other people because this isn’t a contest. Also, you shouldn’t avoid conflict by delaying it. Have some personal integrity! Say what you mean and do what you say! It’s not that hard to do it, just think about how much more secure you will be as a couple afterwards.

6. BE A SAFE PARTNER

If you want to learn how to feel more secure as a couple, you should first learn how to be a safe person yourself. Everybody has their own insecurities, but you shouldn’t let them interfere with your relationship. Treat your partner the way you would like to be treated. Have a little more confidence in yourself and in own strength and you will see how much more secure you will feel in your relationship.

7. DON’T BE SELFISH

In order to make your relationship more secure, you should try to forget about your needs, both emotional and physical, and think about different ways to make your partner happy. Don’t be selfish! By thinking about your loved one’s happiness you’ll improve your behavior and the way you think. Don’t forget: change begins within and just like Mahatma Gandhi said: “Be the change you wish to see in the world!”.

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Read this article in All Women Stalk

Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.