Adaobi Okwy: Really, why do gays scare us? (Y! Superblogger)

Adaobi Okwy Superbloggers

I am not here to tell you what to do… I don’t have all the answers. I just wouldn’t bash my neighbor for his or her sexuality… before God and man after all, I am not without guilt.

Most Nigerians today can’t imagine lesbians and homosexuals. It is like: what do they look like? Which families have them? Most of us know no lesbian or homosexual, yet somehow, most of us find them threatening. Yes, true.

I see all the disparaging stuffs written to crucify gay relationships. In fact, if you want to  insult someone terribly, call him/her – gay. “He is a gay”…with the definite “a”- It is to describe a pariah.

In our places of worship, it is a sin that eternally damns the soul. A close relative of mine told me that “gay” is a cult people entered into to get power (Funny? I didn’t laugh).

Suggestions on treatment include: whipping, deliverance, isolation, threats, jail term… even death. But, what really threatens us about the gay community? My friend, Chidi said it was because there wouldn’t be enough men to go round for the ladies if they were busy loving themselves. Another friend, Osita on the other hand, vehemently said it was an insult for women to be doing for other women, the job assigned to the men-folk.

I am not a crusader for gay rights but only a respecter of people’s choices. More than once, I have heard true life stories of gay Nigerians who married the opposite sex and couldn’t have a good relationship with their spouse. I wouldn’t want to be in that home.

I have looked around at the people who crucify the gay community – they claim to either be religious, culture-defendants or human (biology) anatomy ‘students’. I find them all not satisfactory. Your body is your body, why tell me what to do with mine? You can’t even pull off your clothes in front of me to just look at you. So, why should  I direct what you do with that body and vice-versa?

The religious folks say that this is abominable… shouldn’t God be the judge? Are you done preaching the message of hope and salvation that you are now preaching the message of damnation and hate? You know, I am the first person to say that am a Jesus lover and if not Jesus, there’s no one else I would ever bow to but then, am certain that there are: A) People who do not accept this belief. B) Those who do not subscribe to any religious group or even the belief in a higher power.

For people like these for instance, who are lesbians or homosexuals, why use the Bible in condemnation? Would that bring them any closer at seeing your point of view?

Asked why she never joined any anti-war demonstrations, Mother Theresa said, “I said that I will never do that, but as soon as you have a pro-peace rally, I’ll be there”. She understood which sadly, many of us do not, that  you can’t combat anything successfully, in the same way it comes to you. You can’t curb violence with violence. Gandhi didn’t need violence to lead over 400 million Indians to independence… you just don’t need hate to heal anyone.

The politician embezzles from millions who suffer helplessly. The policeman rapes little children. The robber blatantly takes from those suffering as much as he does – why do they all still join together to tear down the gay community?

Understand this, I wouldn’t choose – on purpose… just for lust… or whatever other retarded excuses most gay bashers use as defense; a sexual orientation that would only hurt, isolate and demean me as a vile human being. If you can, there’re legions of humans (gays) out there who can’t…

Need more proof? What about the fact that there are genes which show that the homosexual orientation is genetic? Scientific researchers specializing in human sexuality have repeatedly shown that homosexuality is genetic.

Scientific research publications from October 2004 and June 2008 stated that scientists have found that women tend to have more children when they inherit the same genetic factors linked to homosexuality in men. This fertility boost more than compensates for the lack of offspring fathered by gay men, and keeps the “gay” genetic factors in circulation.

A 2005 study reported genetic scans showing a clustering of the same genetic pattern among gay men on three chromosomes – chromosomes 7, 8, and 10. The regions on chromosome 7 and 8 were associated with male sexual orientation regardless of whether the man got them from his mother or father. The regions on chromosome 10 were only associated with male sexual orientation if they were inherited from the mother.

A study from 2006 said that researchers have known for years that a man’s likelihood of being gay rises with the number of older biological brothers, but the new study found that the so-called “fraternal birth order effect” persists even if gay men were raised away from their biological families. Anthony F. Bogaert, Ph.D., professor at Brock University, said: “The research suggests that the development of sexual orientation is influenced before birth.”
The older-brother effect was constant regardless of whether the men were raised with natural, adopted or stepbrothers. It also didn’t matter if they weren’t raised with their biological mothers. If gay younger brothers and older brothers don’t have the same home environments, what do they have in common? “They shared the same uterus, the same womb, the same mother,” Bogaert said.

I am not here to tell you what to do… I don’t have all the answers. I just wouldn’t bash my neighbor for his or her sexuality… before God and man after all, I am not without guilt. My guilt(s) can’t be any lesser in comparison to theirs now, can it? Have I judged myself with the same standards I use in judging that gay person? Am I a hundred percent certain that that gay person in demonic and needing to be set straight? Let’s all think through this for a moment.



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  • borjie says:

    Well done Adaobi! Nice article.

  • Nobodie says:

    According to the Bible, homosexuality is a sin. So is not treating your body like a temple. Also, ladies should have their heads covered. In Deuteronomy, a marriage is only valid if the woman is a virgin, she should be executed if she’s not, and the anyone who commits adultery should be stoned to death. I assume for homosexuality, you’re referring to Levi. 18:6 “you shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female, its an abomination”. Leviticus is a holiness code written 3000 years ago (and I emphasise 3000 years). It also includes prohibition against round haircuts, tattoos, working on sabbath, wearing garments of mixed fabrics, eating pork or shellfish, getting your fortune told and even playing with the skin of a pig. I believe in morality, which is doing right regardless of what I’m told as opposed to religion which is doing what I’m told regardless of what is right. You’re welcome to your own interpretation of the Bible, but for me, I need more than “the Bible says so” to justify certain things in this world and certainly to judge them.

  • benet says:

    Okwy,that a disease is genetic does not make it normal. There are certain ailments like Downs syndrome,this is genetic,where children have an extra X or is it Y chromosome. Do we now say because it is genetic it is ok. If you try to justify being gay by arguing that they are two adults therefore it should disturb no one what they do with there bodies.Will it hurt you if your brother & mother fall in love with each other & decide to act on it by dating & all that go with it? Let us assume your mother is not of child bearing age,so you do not argue that they may bear deformed offsprings.

    • borjie says:

      The last time i checked people don’t send children with Down syndrome to prison or pass laws that criminalize their very existence. I also find it extremely ignorant that you would compare homosexuality to incest or rape. Incest involves people who share the same blood. Homosexuality doesn’t. So please lets stop all this hypocrisy and conscious blindness and ignorance.

      • benet says:

        Okwy argued that since being gay has some genetic connotation it is beyond the victims to choose their sexual orientation so society must accept them as they are,I had to make her realise that an illness is genetic does not make it okay.A cure is still required.Blood relatives or not what difference does it make? The world is on a journey of moral decline & it’s only a matter of time before blood relatives ask for the right to have sex if they so desire. People like you who follow the ‘western’ crowd will be here again championing that cause,arguing as you do today that these are two adults with the right to do with their bodies as they please.Me blind?Until now,I thot it was obvious to all that it is your kinds shortcoming.

        • borjie says:

          But that is exactly the problem: This notion that homosexuality is a Western “Problem” is the reason why people like Adaobi and other reasonable people have to write articles like this. HOMOSEXUALITY IS NOT WESTERN! IT IS HUMAN! There has been numerous articles, which show with the help of thorough research that homosexuality existed in many precolonial African societies, such as the Azande tribe in Congo and in Lesotho, and in some cases were totally accepted by these societies. It was actually the Europeans/Arabians who criminalized it with the help of their religion and moral ideologies. The difficult truth for most Africans to accept is that there is currently little left of the so called African culture: From our names, to the way we dress. The influence of the “Western crowd” as you describe them, is visible and accepted in most present day African societies. We only call on our so called African culture, tradition and religion when we are not in accordance with an ideology or a standpoint.

          So please lets look for more reasonable and sound arguments to support our anti-LGBT points of view and drop the whole “it is un-african. It is Western” argument.

        • borjie says:

          And one more thing: The fact that something is genetic, doesn’t mean it is an illness. The colour of your skin, the shape of your nose are all genetic, but they are definitely not a sign of illness. So HOMOSEXUALITY IS GENETIC, BUT NOT AN ILLNESS! And by the way “moral decline” is subjective. There are some religious extremists who believe that the use of the computer and internet is a sign of moral decadence. So according to them you, Benet, are morally decadent. But i’m sure you wouldn’t agree with this people. You would call it technological advancement. So what gives you the right to call to question another person’s morality.

  • Uche says:

    @Adaobi, from all u av said, u av only implied that gay is a sin but we should not judge as we r all sinners! Can u repent from being gay?

  • Desmond says:

    @Sadiq muhammed no he isn’t drunk there is nothing inhuman about being gay or lesbian.with all due respect the only Man who judge us is GOD..where do another human being get off judging another…if u know what GOD wants I suggest u read JOHN 3v16:”for GOD so loved the world that he gave his begotten SON that WHOEVER(gay or straight)believes in him shldnt perish but have eternal life” Look deeply in ths Verse and see what I mean before u involve GOD in this

  • Tony says:

    Are u gay? And who told u your body is your body.are u the 1 that created yourself? My friend lesbianism and homosexual is bad and forbidden in the sight of God

  • Miss Adaobi,I sincerely think u are drunk,No hard feelings….Being gay is inhuman….Remember ur body is also a temple of God…Thank u and God bless….

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