Bayo Oluwasanmi: As Saraki consults the Witch of Endor

Though Bukola Abiku Mesujamba Saraki has men to guard him, he’s afraid to close his eyes at night lest he’ll be overtaken. Some days are worse than others. Last Friday was the worst. How he longs for a miracle or magic to shatter the darkness and pronounce that he has no case to answer.

But there is only silence. Perhaps he should summon an interpreter to read his dreams, but these days he has no dreams because he sleeps so little. If only he could ask a medium for a solution. But… now there is only silence. No word from anyone or from anywhere.

Arguably, the most challenging time Bukola Abiku Mesujamba Saraki ever faced was the bad news delivered to him on Friday by the billionaire judge Abdul Kafarati when his case to halt the CCT trial was tossed into the garbage. He’ll go down in Nigeria’s political history as the most deviant, devilish, and incorrigible politician.

I say that because he reveals and represents a deep cultural preoccupation with failure and inadequacy which are projected unto deviant figures. He serves as mirror to the corrupt political culture that has become the hall mark of our mocked democracy.

Saraki has had some victories along the way, the thing he wants most he cannot have – to be at peace. To rest secure. Since he became the Senate President over a year ago, he is still uneasy.

Criminal cases plague him. Nigerian people abandoned him. Friends ostracized him. After Friday’s unfavorable ruling against him, his spiritual advisers comprising Babalawos, Afas, and Prophets counseled him to see a woman in the city of Endor- the Witch of Endor. He trust his spiritual advisers, he embarks on the journey post haste to Endor.

Divested of all the pomp and pageantry that usually accompany his trips, for the first time in his life he travels like a poor N Nigerian. No senate presidential jet. Instead, he hops on okada (commercial bike), no aide, no convoy.

The night before, the Witch of Endor had a premonition that an important Nigerian politician was on his way to her . She feels restless and unsettled. Late at night when night had fallen, she startled to find two strangers at her door.

“Good morning Madam! My name is Bukola Abiku Mesujamba Saraki. I’m the Senate President of Nigeria’s upper hollow chamber. I’m being selectively persecuted by my political enemies. My fundamental rights have been violated. My political foes trumped up a charge of false declaration of assets against me. I’m a victim of political witch hunting. I’m rejected. I’m dejected. I’m deserted. I’m lonely. I need your help.”

“What specifically do you want from me,” asks the Witch of Endor. “Madam, consult a spirit for me, and bring up the one that I name. Bring up my dad – Abubakar Olusola Saraki – from the dead. “Now, be strong, do not fear, and be ready to meet your dad,” says the Witch of Endor. The Witch goes into some murmurings in the language of the dead and conjures elder Saraki to come up and meet his beleaguered son. “What do you see?” the Witch asks. “I see a spirit coming up out of the ground… An old man wearing a full Hajj regalia. That’s my dad! Yes, that’s him!”

Bukola Abiku Mesujamba Saraki kneels with his face to the ground. “Dad, I’m in great distress. The Buhari administration is fighting me. It’s politically motivated. I’m being singled out for prosecution. I’m being persecuted because I became the Senate President. Everyone has turned his back against me.

I’m politically isolated. God is angry with me. He no longer answers my prayers. I did everything that you did when you were here, and everything you taught me on how to emerge victorious in crises, but to no avail. No one answers me. Prophets, Imams, Afas, Babalawos, Ogbonis, or by dreams have all left me. So, I’m here to see you for a quick solution.”

The elder Saraki’s reply is carried in the throat of the Witch of Endor who serves as the Interpreter. “Why do you consult me only at the times of trouble. Remember your last act of disobedience to me? Your sins are hunting you now. But I’ll forgive you because you’re my son. You know I love you so much. I’m going to save you from.”

His father’s words rush at Bukola Abiku Mesujamba Saraki with nightmare force, and he almost fainted. Seeing how terrified, the Witch pleads with his father. “Look, your son deeply regrets his actions toward you. He has apologized. All his life, he did what you told him to do. Now, please listen to your son and come to his aid.”

“My son, you know while I was with you, I shielded you, protected you, and I made sure you’re absolved from all your crimes. The solution to your problems is simple. Remember the blood ritual with humans I used to do when I was the governor. Remember the special ritual feast with which I fed Kwara people. Well then, repeat the same rituals. Make sure you distribute six yards of cloth and cash to the guests. Don’t forget the particular ritual with a pregnant woman.”

“That’s the solution to your problem. Did you forget the 25 or more people who lost their lives after the feast you gave to Kwara people in mandate House on November 17, 2010? What about the 2013 feast in Ilorin with gifts of cash and six yards of cloth after which at least 20 people lost their lives? The rituals worked then. It will work now. Do the rituals as soon as you get back to Abuja. You ain’t going nowhere. You’re here to stay as the Senate President. As a matter fact, you’ll become the President come 2019.”

“Fair enough, son?” “Yes Dad. That’s why I missed you so much. I know if you were here, I won’t be going through all these problems.” “Son, do you have any question before I leave?” “No Dad, you have done exceedingly wonderful.” Give my love to Toyin, and the children. Tell them I missed them all.”

“To hell with my detractors and enemies calling for my head. I own the senate. In fact, the National Assembly is in my pocket. No amount of intimidation, persecution, prosecution can move me an inch. Nigerians, you ain’t seen nothing yet. Ain’t going nowhere. I’m not going to resign. I’m here for the long haul. The CCT case is not going anywhere either. I’m the Senate President today, tomorrow, and forever.”

“Free at last. I’m free at last. Thanks to my Dad, I’m free at last!”

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Op–ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija

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