Emeh Achanga: When the mistress gets the wife’s seal of approval (Y! Superblogger)

by Emeh Achanga

Why would a supposed Christian man, who goes to church on Sundays, pays tithe, has a pastor, believes that God will favour him, openly engage in an adulterous relationship, flaunting his mistress in all of vain society.

I know a “the other woman”. She’s a close friend. She lives large on the bill of a married man she’s dating. She claims they are in love and keeps telling me, “He will soon leave his wife for me. He just needs a little time.” I first heard promise in 2008. This is 2012 and neither has the man left his “soon-to-be-divorced” wife, nor left my friend.

But one thing is certain; he has changed her life, she’s now “upwardly mobile financially”, so to speak. I am a beneficiary of her affair, I can boast of some “spoils” in jewelry and in cash.

Sometimes, the guilt of being somehow endorsing what I have been conditioned to believe is an “unholy relationship” overcomes me and I give the this-is-risky lecture, “that woman can hurt you, she could pour acid on you”.

At some point in the affair, what I got in response was a dismissing laughter, “The wife knows I am her husband’s mistress. All she asks is that allow him to takes good care of his kids, stay at home during the weekends, and some special days.” The first time I heard that, I was beyond shocked, bewildered, and struck by a severe case of speechlessness.

“You mean she knows you’re sleeping with her husband, and is okay with that?” I asked the next time she tried to dismiss my warning with this line that I presumed to be cooked.

My friend laughed at my “naivety” and she retorted, “For starters, I’m not just sleeping with him, we are in love. She has no choice but to live with it.”

Whatever happened to the sanctity of marriage, the marriage vows? Why would a supposed Christian man, who goes to church on Sundays, pays tithe, has a pastor, believes that God will favour him, openly engage in an adulterous relationship, flaunting his mistress in all of vain society. And to butter the cruelty, the wife, the legal wife, knows about this unholy relationship, and is left to wallow in the pain of heartbreak, emotional abandonment, and the public humiliation of being that “woman whose husband openly cheats and her and she accepts it”.

Several times, I have put forward the what-goes-around-comes-around argument, and what I get in response is, “Look, sweetie, whether you date a married man or not, your husband would date a lady out there. So why not have fun while you are still single, knowing full well that the moment you’ve got that ring on your finger, your husband would be searching for the next available single girl to keep as a mistress?” Sometimes, I have to take two steps back.

The sad part is after some years of careful observation, there appears to be overwhelming evidence that the mistress is an approved and widespread vocation. And it appears as if the wives, have resigned to fate and adopted the modus operandi, “I run the home, they run the bed syndrome.”

A perfect globally recognized example, Naomi Campbell and her [very married] Russian billionaire boyfriend, Vladimir. Neither of them is hiding the affair. He is noted for spending lavishly on the supermodel and attending public functions with her. This week she’s reportedly throwing him a lavish birthday party.

The billionaire’s wife Ekaterina, 44, released a statement to the “News of the World” which reads, “Vladimir has had lots of admiring women over the years. He is rich, attractive and rarely at home because of his business. I have ignored all this in the past because I know boys will be boys. He has bought Naomi gifts; he has bought other women gifts, some fun, maybe it will be good for business. But enough is enough. He is my husband. He is wealthy and generous but not stupid.”

When it would appear that her husband was more than generous, but tending towards stupid, the Mrs released an “updated statement”, “Naomi is deceiving herself if she thinks he will be with her. As a wife of dignity I refuse to be humiliated. I would never cause a public scene or any embarrassment but Naomi has overstepped the line. That is the final straw. Naomi has got this so wrong. She is kidding herself. I think my husband has been enjoying the fame, glory and showbiz razzmatazz of meeting all the big stars. And it’s good for business.”

Then last week, Valdimir gifted Naomi with a magnificent 25 bedroom edifice mansion on an exclusive island. Rumor has it that the architect was given an unlimited budget. Sadly, the heartbroken wife, who got married to the ‘love of her life’ at the age of 16, has now struck a ‘truce’ with Naomi after several attempts at dissuading Naomi to leave her husband failed.

Right now, they are reportedly, friends and have come to an agreement (whatever that means) and Naomi is stamped, OFFICIAL MISTRESS!

Would I openly tolerate my husband keeping a mistress? Well, when that time comes… I think I have a double-barrel gun somewhere…


Emeh Achanga is a lawyer, journalist, blogger and writer. She blogs at She believes in the power to change the world by penning down her thoughts and sharing her experiences with others. Follow her on twitter @misspetitenaija.


Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.

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Comments (25)

  1. Madam frustrated rotten fish SALLY.Shut ur trap or go get leprosy or something to stop u from typing trash.So ur happy when another woman is hurt coz of ur selfish greedy attitude.

    What will d man give u? BB bold 5,ipad or dubai..don't forget d wife owns it all.rubbish girl

  2. L̳̿☺Ö̤̣̇☺ː̗̀(=)))ː̖́☺Ö̤̣̇☺L̳̿​ . Ann has killed me . We all have our different ways to live our lives. So, that stupid gal judging IV told her she's a dumb skuLl n stupid n they r Ð one's dt commit worse sins … Most of we young gals r victims of this ,bcos of conditions Ãήϑ situations Ãήϑ whr our own love has landed us . Jst in all we do ,let us try to do right by GƠD .

  3. Nigerians are always quick to tell someone U̶̲̥̅̊ r right,hell awaits U̶̲̥̅̊, U̶̲̥̅̊ ddid wrong,U̶̲̥̅̊ would hv done it like this ,if had, …. Abeg, adultery is same in God's eyes as U̶̲̥̅̊ that cheats,steals,furnicates, kills, blasphems,bears false witness,so U̶̲̥̅̊ guys learn or disregard from experiences instd of being quick in judging. Cos U̶̲̥̅̊ definitely won't evn make a living in judging. Nonsns. Emeh,i love ur write -ups ,but b on Ð fence

    1. madam Sally,this issue must have pained you to your bone marrow to have commented 3 times. you must be one of those stupid girls deceiving themselves that a married man would leave his wife for you.

      You are pathetic to even justify adultery by comparing to other sins.I am a guy who is married and I do not condone adultery so it pisses me off coz women like u have made everyother woman including my wife believe all men cheat.

      I didnt know about Naomi''s relationship until i read it here. Goggled it and the man is NOT DIVORCED from his wife.

      The writer did a perfect job and of course you should be happy that a woman like you frowns at such open adultery.

      I have run out of words because you are not worth it.Please change your ways

      1. I love naija blog comments…. Hahahahaha!!!

  4. Madam judge, UL b a very GƠƠD judge . Mtchew. Perfect woman .

  5. A blogger isn't suppose to b on Ð offensive or defensive ,U̶̲̥̅̊ jst tell a story n leave Ð readers to comment. Also, Ð story on Naomi Campbell needs to b revisited cos wht U̶̲̥̅̊ r doing is blasphemy. The woman is divorced Frm Ð Vladimir , Ãήϑ whoever said Naomi or any other prsn can't b in love wt smone one's married . Jst as ppl loose in marriage or relationships ,others can gain , who's fault is dt . Most men these days cheat ,n that's bcos U̶̲̥̅̊ dnt even knw Ð circumstance of their marriage . When ppl tell U̶̲̥̅̊ their stories in marriage UL  y they do what they do. So,dear,tell Ð story Ãήϑ leave Ð rest for us to comment on . Ciaoo

  6. Madam mistress Ann.Hell awaits u for ur unrepentant nature.Be warned

    Nice and refreshing article.Pls women need to know we are our own killers.We break eachother's marriages and blame the men.smh

  7. i am loving this .so so cool the write up is classic.

  8. My dear this is an interesting piece. I am loving the spirit, lol.

  9. Wow!So Naomi Campbell is openly dating a married man?Never knew that man was married considering the way they flaunt their relationship.Karma is a bicth and it sure would visit her when she's old and grey.As for the wife,why is she still there?I guess marrying him at 16,she has no prenup and ofcourse he's a billionaire but i think she is entitled to a huge sum of money if she divorces him now.

    Or,she should borrow the writer's gun. lool that got me cracking.Nice comedy.

  10. well written but im a mistress and trust me,i wouldnt wanna be anythingelse.He loves me and would leave his wife for me.That Im certain of.She is even aware of our affair.

    She doesnt take care of him,she is dirty,nags,unsexy and thats what pushed him into my arms.

    Nice piece but u dont see the other side

  11. Girl this is INTERESTING and JUICY, keep doing what you do best.

  12. Nice piece emmeh darl.. You always do me proud. Kudos moi amor *hugz*

  13. This is a wonderful piece.Ynaija kudos for exposing fresh writers like this.lOok foward to reading more.

    Lol pls I need ur double barrel gun o..when ur through

  14. Ha ha ha,would you want to go to jail because your husband cheated on you. Just be a loving and devoted wife and pray for your husband always. A husband is not worth going to jail for. Its a man thing that defies age,reason or logic,while women too will not let them be.

  15. you have a double-barrel gun somewhere…nice one Miss-Petite

  16. This breaks my heart. sigh.

  17. Endtimes,like Gordons said with God all things are possible but with money all things are answerable.Look at this unholy arrangement

cool good eh love2 cute confused notgood numb disgusting fail