Twitter never disappoints with its viral hashtags. This one took hold over the weekend and we are still reeling from its brilliance. The purpose of ‘First of all’ is to hit reply on dumb tweets with lethal force. It’s hilarious.
Are you ready?
Love, sex and hookups
"Damn you reply hella fast are you bored? ?"
first of all I love you
— AQUAMANE (@OKWAMANE) October 14, 2017
Why this bitch staring me down like I want her man?…. first of all, I want you.
— Naomi (@naomijanae) October 16, 2017
“You’re asking so many questions..”
First of all, i’m tryna plan our future. I want twins…you?
— F.SHAW (@FshawKingFisher) October 16, 2017
Girls hear you say “fuckkk” during sex and think her pussy fire
First of all hoe I’m really just feeling bad for cheating on my girl
— Quincy McCall Jr. (@joshmukendi_) October 15, 2017
"call me daddy"
first of all, I'm older than you
— k… (@vibeoverniggas) October 15, 2017
https://twitter.com/KyAkaClutch/status/919659778896515072
“Go and message your other girls”
First of all, you are the other girl
— Abdi ? (@AbdiTV) October 14, 2017
Blackish
" your parents beat you? That's abuse, report them to child services"
First of all your mum doesn't season your chicken, that's abuse
— Kev-Prince Kombi (@KevKombi) October 15, 2017
Me @ Starbucks: can I have a medium coffee
Cashier: you mean grande?
Me: first of all, I’m from the hood
— JAY (@JAYVERSACE) October 15, 2017
Think again
"I need a guy who can handle all my shit"
First of all, I'm not a toilet.
— MANÈ LIKE SALAH™ (@TCharis_DRO) October 15, 2017
"I need a woman who can help me grow"
First of all, I'm not Fertilizer.
— Dr. (@Steadi_lady) October 15, 2017
"I don't like going out"
First of all nobody invites you anywhere
— Obi of Funaland (@Monsiuer_T) October 15, 2017
"You obviously can't do without me"
First of all, you're not my phone charger.
— Elvis Tunde ⚓ (@Tunnyking) October 15, 2017
It’s raining subs
"Can't relate with your tweets"
First of all, my tweets are not your relatives pic.twitter.com/s4pFp9nW27
— Airdy (@EdwardAsare_) October 15, 2017
https://twitter.com/TheDuragMessiah/status/919322450315370496
https://twitter.com/Benoo_Brown/status/919670609910685703
Real talk
“I’m not fat I’m thick”
First of all sweetheart you’re compressed. You’re 4’11
— a (@notaisshhaaaaa) October 14, 2017
"you're so cute when you're shy "
first of all, i have anxiety
— bonita applebum (@miniradebe_) October 15, 2017
https://twitter.com/ndoarum/status/919532297317224449
“You’re incredibly mature for your age”
First of all, I’m traumatized.
— Iman ? (@ibaqouyen) October 15, 2017
“Are you still watching"
First of all, I’ll tell you when I’ve had enough
— Netflix US (@netflix) October 15, 2017
Lost the plot
Her 'Go deeper…'
First of all if you shaved down there I could
— The Lyrical Cynic (@VindiTweets) October 15, 2017
Sounds like the problem may be you and not the pubic hair… pic.twitter.com/yJcf68Cr6U
— Shay GONE WILD | Stream Shoot Me (@faux_posh) October 15, 2017
You gone have to explain this one to me fam
— Power Byke (@EarthaLittt) October 15, 2017
You alone on this one pic.twitter.com/NbsXpSYlg0
— Smitty (@PhoneHomeConnor) October 15, 2017
Lol bruh how weak is your dick if hair stopping you????
— Libtard Beta Cuckdoza (@LeilLikeNeil) October 15, 2017
You could've typed "I have a small dick" in less characters
— Central Intelligence Angent ™️ (@_QueenEs1) October 15, 2017
Sounds like the problem may be you and not the pubic hair… pic.twitter.com/yJcf68Cr6U
— Shay GONE WILD | Stream Shoot Me (@faux_posh) October 15, 2017
https://twitter.com/Free_Chilly/status/919578240183865344
Dang!
Reformed social media monitoring spirit
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