Girlfriend code: 5 things women should NEVER do to their friends in matters of love

by Sasha Brown-Worsham


It may seem harmless….But I promise if you flirt with a woman’s man, you will find her no longer your friend right quick.

There are very few things in life that are black and white, set in stone, never meant to be crossed. Almost everything could be broadly interpreted or looked at with an open mind and explored. Except when it comes to the “girlfriend code.”

As women we all generally know it. We live by an unspoken set of rules when it comes to our friends’ spouses, lovers, boyfriends, and significant others. We enforce these rules and we live by them because we value our friendships above anything. Or at least most of us do.

A friend recently informed me that the husband she is divorcing has gone on at least one date with her former close friend. The bitch. How could she?

So apparently there are those women out there who don’t play by these rules. For them I have prepared a little cheat sheet. Here are the 5 rules every woman must follow when it comes to her friend’s man.

1. Thou Shalt NEVER Date Thy Friend’s Spouse/Boyfriend/Lover No Matter How Former: This seems obvious, but oh wow do women forget it. Sure, if you are looking to end that friendship, by all means, date away. But if you want to keep it going, don’t even think about it. It’s a surefire way to end a friendship.

2. Thou Shalt Never Side With Spouse: Now, it’s true that a good friend will tell the truth, and if your friend is being out of line, by all means, find a way to say that. It could help her marriage. But DO NOT side with the husband. Ever. Find a way to say it while also supporting your friend.

3. Thou Shalt Never Speak Ill of the Spouse: No matter how angry your friend is, never (ever) say “oh yeah, he’s a jerk” or “oh yeah, I never liked him.” ZIP IT. When they make up, you’ll be the bad guy. This, naturally, doesn’t apply to a situation you think is abusive or otherwise detrimental to your friend. But in everyday situations, keep it mum. No matter how much of an ass you think he is.

4. Thou Shalt Not Flirt With the Spouse: It may seem harmless, and sure, men and women flirt and sometimes that’s just how it goes. But I promise if you flirt with a woman’s man, you will find her no longer your friend right quick. Mark my words.

5. Thou Shalt Remember Your Friend Was First: No matter how close you get with her spouse, no matter how much you like him and think he is cool and want to be his bestie, remember she was your friend first and keep that division in your mind. They are married, but not the same person. She comes first.


Read this article in The Stir


Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.

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