by Nick Notas
Don’t wait around for the “green light” or “perfect moment” — create it.
So you’re with a girl and…
At dinner with friends, she smiles and steals French fries off your plate.
She tucks her hair behind her ear before she says hi.
She touches your arm and offers to give you a ride home.
These everyday occurrences may seem like nothing, but I assure you they speak volumes. Sometimes it’s up to us to recognize their cues because, let’s face it, girls don’t always announce their feelings for you over a loudspeaker.
Those hints are there to encourage you and give you more confidence to make a move. Are they guaranteed signals that she likes you? Definitely not, because nothing is set in stone. But, they are indicators that she damn well could be, especially if she shows many of these signs of interest.
Through Her Body Language
Our bodies say so much without us even realizing it. When a girl starts to feel those butterflies, she’ll often display her feelings subconsciously. They’re usually subtle and fleeting, but don’t underestimate what they can mean.
- She smiles at you when you make eye contact from afar
- She gives you open body language (turns to face you directly, arms uncrossed, warm smile)
- She stands close or moves closer toward you
- She touches or plays with her hair while talking to you
- She looks down or away nervously when you hold eye contact with her
- She primps in front of you (adjusting clothes, jewelry, makeup) to look her best
- She brushes her body (shoulder, hand, etc) against you while standing or walking by
How She Responds
When you’re getting to know each other, it’s your job to make her feel comfortable and have her enjoy herself. If a girl is responding to you favorably, there’s a good chance she wants you to stick around. You might have to put more work into keeping things moving initially, but her warm reactions to your efforts will build her overall attraction.
- She laughs or giggles at your jokes, even when they’re not funny
- She re-initiates conversation during a lull
- She agrees when you ask her to grab a drink or get some fresh air
- She answers your questions, opens up, and tells you personal details (interests, aspirations, embarrassing stories)
- She asks personal questions back and expresses interest in getting to know you
- She doesn’t step away or break physical contact when you touch her
- She stays with you even after her friends leave
What She Says and How She Acts
A girl will generally only put herself on the line when she’s interested in you. She’s going out of her way to touch and tease you because she wants to create chemistry. Remember, she speaks or acts this way because she likes you and she wants you to like her back. So please, reciprocate!
- She touches you during conversation
- She compliments you
- She playfully teases you or “busts your balls”
- She offers to buy you a drink
- She leaves the interaction (bathroom, to get a drink, etc) and then returns to you
- She play fights or pushes you in a joking way
- She teases you about how you must get all the girls
- She introduces you to her friends
- She asks if you have a girlfriend or assumes you do in conversation
- She asks what you’re doing later
What if you don’t get any of these signs? In my experience, that doesn’t necessarily mean she’s uninterested. We’re all different and express interest in unique ways. Even when you’re uncertain, it’s best to assume she likes you rather than not. You’ve got a lot to gain and nothing to lose from doing so.
Don’t wait around for the “green light” or “perfect moment” — create it. Use these indicators of interest to your advantage to facilitate the connection between you two. Display open body language immediately, ask her intriguing questions, and invite her along if your friends are leaving the bar.
You don’t have to memorize all these points. Keep an eye out for them, but don’t get overwhelmed. When in doubt, trust your gut and go for it.
Nick Notas is a dating coach who focuses on honesty and respect. he teaches men how to be gentlemen and still get the girl. No tricks, no games, just genuine, lasting confidence.
Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.