First off, one of the first things our body needs other than food, water and air is human to human interaction. It’s what keeps our sanity
Kinesthetics (Kino) Noun – the ability to feel sensation or movements of limbs and muscles.
Kino from the Player’s point of view is simply ‘the art of touching.’ Psychological studies show that casual touching during a friendly conversation causes people to remember the conversation more fondly.
How does it help?
First off, one of the first things our body needs other than food, water and air is human to human interaction. It’s what keeps our sanity – remember Mr. Wilson from Cast Away! Instinctively we need to feel the presence, the touch of another person. The combination of kino with psychological proof is dynamite. Practicing Kino helps to:
- Acts as an icebreaker
- Shows confidence / establishes Alpha Male status
- Stimulates the person you’re trying to attract
- Breaks sexual barriers
Though a lot of you are relating Kino to sexual interaction, it’s much more than that. How many of your guys only land up saying just a “Hi” to women, even your female friends and acquaintances. Kino is a way of establishing your social status, showing how comfortable you are around women. Women tend to pick up on such signals subconsciously.
Touch one girl and the other girls seeing this think its normal or even “good” to be touchy-feely with you. Now you can quite naturally move on to touching those other girls and so forth.
Basic Kino Moves
I personally use Kino all the time, and overtime it’s become a habit and comes naturally. TOUCH HER!!! It doesn’t matter if you just met her. Hold her hand, rub her arm, her elbow her back, her shoulders, her hair, her face. TOUCH HER!!! The trick is to do this in a non-threatening-way, that is, not like the desperate perverts we all are. Leave the ASF (average frustrated chump) in you at home. Also, it is VERY VERY important to pay attention to how she responds to you! This will help you adjust (increase/decrease) the level of Kino you’re to apply.
Picture this scenario- you’re in a hallway, on your way to class, a meeting, or what have you, and you walk past a woman and say hey. You introduce yourself to her. While you’re talking, making her laugh, busting some cocky/funny and showing her your alpha status, you touch her arm as you say a joke or say something funny, or maybe you touch her shoulder as you leave.
Do the things that lovers do – brush off “something” that’s stuck in her hair, gently stroke her cheek pretending to wipe off an eyelash etc. These are the types of things lovers do and by doing them, you will make her feel (doesn’t even matter if only subconsciously) like you were her lover. Believe it or not, in that very casual, everyday situation, that little touch can stimulate her to remember you.
At any stage of a relationship its important to start Kino early. The trick is to hide completely any interest you might have for the girl AND at the same time you act really touchy/huggish (note the omission of the word ‘feely’). The problem is – you have to start this early in the “friend” relationship, it has to seem natural, or otherwise she’ll wonder “what the fuck is he doing lately?” Once you’ve developed a distant/awkward relationship with a girl, it’s hard to bring on that kind of flirtatious friendship.
Kino as soon as meet a girl. Meeting someone for the first time is an excellent chance for starting Kino – shaking hands when exchanging names is a tradition of many cultures, but make sure you hold on to her hand longer than expected, long enough for her to notice, if not her noticing it but at least you not letting go as quickly as people usually do.
When meeting girls you already know, shaking hands might seem strange, so giving some sort of a hug is the way to go. You don’t need to fall all over her to give her a hug, a hug can also be putting your arm around her waist or shoulders when standing to her left or right and pulling her closer for a moment, or taking her hand for a moment – but not shaking it.
Making Her Comfortable
Continue the Kino routine even as you progress with the girl – say on a date. If you continue to give her all the right signals and paying attention to how she’s responding to them – eventually she will become VERY comfortable with you touching her, and she will soon become very comfortable with touching you. The idea is to establish a little physical intimacy without venturing into the sexual undertones associated with it. Friends touch each other. Relatives touch each other. Don’t give her any overtly lingering touches i.e. don’t feel her up. Just be casual about it in those early stages to make her comfortable with you.
Set the mood from the start. When going on a date/get-together, establish the mood immediately. You can of course change the mood from “polite and calm” to “warm and friendly” to “aroused and sweaty” during the course of the meeting, but why go the hard way, if you can jump right into “warm and friendly” or beyond in the first place. It is best to have acting enthusiastic upon meeting the girl. Be all smiles when you meet her, give her a big hug right away, try to take and hold her hand and leaving it whenever opportunity arises – and watch her change from slightly nervous to happy, smiling, starry-eyed and glowing all over. Remember – enthusiasm is contagious.
Creating Kino Situations
“I’m sure you suck at thumb wrestling.” Walking towards an acquaintance you find hot, raise your hand and say – Hi 5! She will most likely give you a high five as its extremely impersonal and non-threatening to her. Once given, you say “that’s a lousy Hi-5, I’m sure you’re no good at thumb wrestling either?”
She will have either of the two responses: “Of course I am” OR “what’s thumb wrestling?”
At this point, take her hand in yours in thumb-wrestling position and begin.
Whatever you do, don’t loose! If the girl is good at it beat her by cheating – take your index finger and wrap it around her thumb and pull it down. Cheating can be fun too because you can (playfully) argue about it and tease her for the rest of the night.
“Cant hear you.” If she says something, lean forward as if you cant her her very well, and touch her arm or back and bring your face close to hers. After she speaks, lean back immediately but casually and answer.
Pushing Her. This is one of the easiest Kino trick out there. She says something you don’t like (or you pretend you don’t like) push her and say “you little shit!” Always remember, playfully. If you’re walking side by side you can just slowly nudge her into random things. If you keep doing it, she’ll start pushing back. Keep the pushing to level surfaces, you don’t want to get sued because you accidentally pushed her down some stairs. If the pushing war begins, it’s up to you to end it – put your arms around her from behind and say “truce” softly in her ear.
Foot Flirting. This works better if you are wearing sandals or flip-flops and your foot has easy access to hers. ‘Accidenlty’ touch her feet with yours and say with a grin “are you are foot-flirting with me?” jokingly. Look her deeply in the eyes while saying this. Say “let me return the favor”, and this time touch her with your toe again – If she jerks away, you still created a connection and an opener, if she doesn’t BANG! You’re in the game!
Palmistry. The oldest and most common form of Kino which your father probably practiced in his ‘playing’ days.For some reason girls can not seem to resist anything that deals with magic and destiny. I personally don’t use palmistry, just because I don’t like it, it’s personal bias really. For those that do use it I hear it’s fairly successful. Get a basic knowledge of the palm (love line, money line, etc.) and when you’re talking to a girl, just take it where you want to go. Chances are she has no clue when it comes to palmistry so anything you say is true. “Your love line seems to be a little faded. Make sure you hold her hand gently and follow the traces of her lines with your finger. Have you had a tough break-up or a particularly bad relationship in the past?” Every relationship that has ended has been a bad one or else it would’ve never ended. So it’s extremely likely she’ll say yes. And suddenly… you just read her past! Gasp!
The Protective Gesture. Better hear this from the horses mouth: “In a crowded bar, if people are walking by and pushing you, there’s a way a guy can put his arm around you—not actually touching you, but behind your back so he’s sort of keeping you from getting shoved. A man doesn’t need to pick a fight with some guy who accidentally steps on my toes, but it’s nice if he’s protective. —Ankita, 27, Bangalore”
- Lower Back
- Ear Lobes
- Between the fingers
Kino: Difference Between Getting & Not Getting
It is the saving grace for the otherwise doomed “nice guy” approach. And in some instances, being the “nice guy” together with Kino can be quiet effective. Here’s why: The success of Kino depends on depends on whether the girl perceives you and your touch as a threat to her or not. A nice guy usually just has an easier time having girls feel he is not a threat to them. Usually though, that is also his undoing, as he is consequently perceived as weak, neutral and non-sexual, all of which are major turn-offs for girls. But here is where Kino helps since the girl thinks you are safe, so touching and hugging with you is… well, also safe. However, before she knows it – touching and hugging with you moves from feeling pretty good to quite exciting to really electrifying until all that good, safe and friendly physical contact with you is going to make her wonder: “If it feels so good just to touch with him, why on earth not do more? I wonder what that would be like.” So remember – Kino really is the difference between getting and not getting the girl.
Some Rules For Touching
All Kino should seem either Spontaneous or Subconscious.That means it should never seem premeditated, planned, or forced. Some helpful tips for you:
* Playful kino is always spontaneous, and being done lightly in the spirit of the moment. Sprinkle playful kino in, it’s best used as a spice in small doses.
* Do protective kino like you make it. No waffling on whether you’re going to put your arm around her. Playful kino can either be spontaneous or subconscious, but make sure you’re doing it in a masculine, protective way.
* Incidental kino is supposedly not being consciously generated (even though both you and the woman are aware of it). It’s “just happening” because you two are comfortable with each other. As such, it’s always subconscious on your part – if she breaks it off, don’t immediately scoot back in to her. Let it rest and restart it in a moment. Make sure you break off incidental kino from time to time as well, then restart it.
Lastly, never look where you touch. It “asks for permission” so to speak. Just go for it, if your hand is in the wrong place she’ll let you know.
Kino is absolutely fantastic for your game
Employing solid touching and kinesthetics will capture her mind and body. It’s especially powerful and necessary for some of the most fun, passionate girls and works well on all girls. Remember to engage in incidental kino before you go to kiss, because it’s a win/win proposition.
Now get out there and get it goin’!
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Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.