by Tolu Orekoya
It is an interesting take to interview those who would most profit from high divorce rates in any country: the lawyers. In Nigeria, though divorces are becoming more common, being divorced can be a cause of stigma, especially for women. Never mind that new research shows that divorce is associated with women being less suicidal in some countries.
Two of the lawyers (both male) interviewed for the Vanguard piece, focused on women and how their behavioural patterns could lead to divorce.
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Some lawyers in Lagos on Sunday identified poverty, lack of love and desperation as reasons for the high rate of divorce in country.
The lawyers, said that most people go into marriage without prior knowledge of marriage.
One of the lawyers, Mr Linus Okwara, explained that desperation, especially on the part of the female folks, was a major cause of divorce.
“Most young women feel, it is a must to get married at an early age while the older ones cannot stand the stigma of not being married.
“Therefore, they enter into marriages not minding what it may cost because they must get married,’’ Okwara said.
He further said that some women, in their desperation avoid marriage counselling and courtship so that the man would not change his mind.
Mrs Nkechi Amanambu, a legal practitioner, said that some families due to poverty give away their female children in order to make some money.
“Parents who cannot afford to train their female children give them out for marriage so that it could fetch them money.
“They don’t care about what the child feels or wants for herself. They force her into an unwanted or unplanned marital life,’’ Amanambu said.
Amanambu, however, said that such couple would opt for a divorce by the time they realised that the union was against their will.
Mr Peter Ayodele, another lawyer, said that some men and women did not understand that love was the primary basis for workable marriage.
“Some marriages lack love. If a marriage has love as its foundation, as in the Christian and Islamic doctrine; couples would stay together `for better and for not as good as,’’ he said.
Ayodele also explained that the problem was rampant with women because most divorce suit had women as petitioners.
“Most women, especially the career ones, would want to rub shoulders with their husbands; they are not ready to compromise or stoop down for their spouses.
“And men are naturally egoistic, once their wives start giving them such challenges in their marital decisions; there would be conflicts which might lead to divorce.’’
He also cited social pressure as another major cause of divorce, saying that most girls go into marriages because of money and social status of the husband to be in the society.
“Once they go into the marriage with such mindset, whenever anything affects the position, they want to seek divorce because they are not ready to absorb the ups and downs of marriage,’’ he said.
Source: The Vanguard