Is it better to have a great guy,who may seem boring to some people, or is it better to be with a flashy guy with swagger and….not much else?
by Nomalanga Mhlauli-Moses
Many women complain that finding the right partner is a challenge. Some women feel that it is so hard that they just give up. Other women feel like when they do meet men, they fall short of their standards and feel like in order to be in a relationship, they have to settle.
Kevin Carr, a contributor at Essence Magazine, contends that sometimes a possible life partner could be right under your nose. He says,
“We do ourselves a disservice by attempting to make love fit our own agenda. Be flexible. It isn’t about lowering your standards. It’s about increasing your awareness.”
Here are a list of 10 men that could be right under your nose:
The Nice Guy
Ever heard of the saying, “nice guys finish last?” Well it seems that sometimes when women feel a guy is too nice they automatically dismiss him as a possible mate. Give the nice guy a chance.
Just because someone is your friend, it does not mean that he can’t be “more”. Some of the most successful marriages start out as friendships. A friend is someone who knows everything about you and still loves you. That sounds like a great start to a great relationship. Don’t dismiss someone just because you were too quick to throw him in the “just friends” pile.
Didn’t go to or didn’t finish college
Many women will not even consider a man who does not have a college degree but there are many men who don’t have degrees and could make wonderful partners. We can’t define a whole person by just looking at whether or not they have a degree. There is more to a man than a degree. If having a degree is what you look for, then you may be shutting the door to many possibilities.
He has an old car (or no car)
Because we live in a time when getting the newest or latest of everything, sometimes a guy who shows up in an old car can get dismissed. Maybe he doesn’t even have a car. Consider that he may be driving that old car because he is saving his money for something more important, like going back to school or buying a house. Maybe he doesn’t have a car because it’s just easier to take the train. Don’t miss out on a possible mate just because you’re hung up on his car or his lack of one.
The Single Father
Dating a single father is actually a great way to see how a man relates to his children before you have children with him. Also, consider that a man who takes on parenting by himself could potentially be a real winner. Don’t dismiss him, spend time with him and find out what he’s really about.
The non-Black guy
Dating a guy from another race or culture does not make you a sell out- it; just makes you a woman who is open to possibilities. Don’t dismiss a guy just because he is not Black. When you start to explore and date beyond your own comfort zone, you broaden your dating pool and you may just be pleasantly surprised.
The older guy (or younger guy)
Expanding the age window to include guys who are a little older can open the door to more possibilities for you. The same applies to being open to someone who may be a little younger. If you take your focus away from a man’s age and pay attention to his level of maturity, you may find that age was a barrier you were using to block out some great men.
Just because a man is in touch with his emotions, it doesn’t mean you should back away from him. If he is in touch with his own feelings, it is likely that he will also be sensitive to yours. How often do we hear women complaining that some men are insensitive? A lot! Maybe if you are open to Mr. Sensitive, you will never have that particular complaint.
The Plain Guy
You may meet a guy who leads a very uneventful life. He has a good job with benefits and he doesn’t really get out much. Some may say he doesn’t have “swag” or that he is not “cool”. You decide: Is it better to have a great guy,who may seem boring to some people, or is it better to be with a flashy guy with swagger and….not much else?
The Blue Collar Man
He doesn’t wear a suit to work. Actually, he is more likely to wear over-alls. Guess what, some “blue collar” men make more money than the “white collar” guys and even if he doesn’t, is money the only thing you’re looking for? Give Mr. Blue collar an opportunity to show you whether or not he’s the one.
Nomalanga helps Black Women thrive in their lives and careers. She is a Social Commentator, an Editor at Your Black World , Assistant Professor of Professional Studies and the reigning Mrs Botswana. Visit Nomalanga’s blog at successfulblackwoman.com