So we we minding our business when we saw this in the press release for Innoson Group’s latest investment – in Cable TV infrastructure, in collaboration with some Chinese people:
“Also, an investment of $100 million to establish technology-based Direct-To-Home Digital Bing Television Stations in Nigeria, among others.”
We have never heard of anything like that in our whole, entire lives. Sounds like the other Guarara Pad scam. The kind of thing thieving university students lie to their illiterate parents about, so as to dupe them.
But so they will not say we are xenophobic (as in ‘Chinese people have come to use our head’) or we are anti-Made in Nigeria, we went to Google it (irony coming soon).
As we already knew, the only Bing the world knows is the Microsoft competitor to Google (that’s the irony – to find out about Google’s competition, we used Google, which makes you know that Bing is kuku finished in this life).
It is also deeply disturbing that most of the searches for Bing TV lead directly to the same press release Innoson gave people N20,000 to use in the newspapers.
So our conclusion: Innoson has invented a completely new technology, like its ‘made in Nigeria somehow somehow sha’ cars.
O di egwu.
Unless any of you are using Bing TV in your house. Please stand up and help us understand.