Article

Of Mars & Venus: What’s love got to do with it?

by HD

Love is in the air, love is in the air, it is the season of loving and of giving, oh yes love is in the air!

The man (Let’s call him Adam) was singing to some tune which he had obviously made up himself and bobbing his head seriously. It was amusing. Adam was right, love is in the air; just walk around some of the shopping malls in Lagos and you’ll see enticing red and white displays which feature heart shapes and mushy images. It was amusing to see a man that so excited about Valentine’s. Normally the intense excitement and high sense of expectancy surrounding Valentine’s Day is in the female mind while men take it in their stride as a day to impress their girl and her friends or to perform an obligation. However this man was really into it. I wonder what he was expecting? (Trust me, I just had to ask)

Adam said he was excited not because he was expecting something, but he because he knew how happy his woman was going to be with her Valentine’s gift, and he could hardly wait to put that glow on her face. I started out amused, but now I was very interested. How could he be so sure? Spill the secret!

Here’s what he said.

“Most of us buy our Valentine’s gifts to show off and not to show love. The shops draw you in with their displays, and if you manage to resist that, the old love songs wafting around reel you in by stirring up memories and nostalgia. Before you know it, you walk out with nameless chocolates in a red box, underwear that only a fantasy woman would wear; a huge pink teddy bear which you know will bear your name….and leave the shopkeeper smiling because business is good, while your pockets are more depleted than they would have been had you not succumbed to the highly commercialized nature of the generic Valentine’s gift.

Valentine’s Day by tradition and folklore, celebrates the priest who risked his life for love and lovers.

In this day and age, a lot of that is lost as we celebrate love on February 14th. If the gift of love is a show off gift or an “I just had to get something…anything gift”, is that really about celebrating love? This love is not some intangible and unreal concept with no name and no face and no personality. In this case, you see love, you hear love; and in fact you know love. And that is the point. Buy your love a gift that says I am celebrating you and not the concept of Valentine’s, a gift of knowing and loving; unique to the person you are buying the gift for. Sure it will take you some time and some searching, but your creative juices will be stimulated in finding the gift that makes your partner happy and sets you up for good loving not only on February 14th, but for good good loving over time.”

By the time Adam was done, I was wowed! I could not have said it better and I just had to share his words. That’s what Valentine’s is all about – celebrating the person you love.

Don’t get it wrong, certain items are classic because they are what they are. What woman could resist a beautiful selection of chocolates when chocolates produce the same satisfaction in women as sex? A perfume that blends with her character is unbeatable as well. The trick is to let the gift be a gift of loving and of knowing. A gift that says “I took time to celebrate you” speaks volumes above some expensive generic commercial brand that you may have even sent your secretary to buy.

Happy Valentine’s Day people – enjoy your love!

A note for those who don’t believe in Valentine’s Day because they ‘don’t have to follow the crowd’ and blah blah blah (mostly men):

Get off your stingy horse and do something for your woman! Do you refuse to celebrate Christmas just because you could (and you should) celebrate the birth of Christ every day? Or do you refuse 1st of Jan as New Years because everyday is a new year’s day away from the same time last year? Of course not!

Celebrating Valentine’s Day on the 14th of February with the rest of the world is not mutually exclusive to celebrating your love everyday (it is a given that you should do that). So stop talking and start loving!

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