The Gist/The Juice/The Absolute Craziness

By Ifreke Inyang

Monday: Monday started on a good note for most tweeters. Widely acclaimed King of Comedy, Ali Baba ,with the handle @alibababagcfr, gave out recharge cards to some of his lucky followers. Banky W (@BankyW), who wasn’t in the country re-tweeted the messages so some of his followers could get some and was jokingly warned by Ali Baba.

Trending topic? #SomewhereInTheWorld and as usual, peeps got creative! Many were from @exschoolnerd, including #SomewhereInTheWorld there is a 40 year old virgin and #SomewhereInTheWorld two couples are making out. There was one from @henri88: #SomewhereInTheWorld Someone is still using a Blackberry 8800.  It bears noting though that, #SomewhereinREALworld, Governor Babatunde Fashola effectively banned okada. Cue the raving, ranting and threats. @toptosyn, two days before it took effect, had already begun to moan. She asked, ‘whatever shall I do?’

Tuesday: Well, that’s the question that the most folks looked for answers for on Tuesday. Most tweeters couldn’t just understand why the Lagos State Government had taken such a drastic action. @kzie11 specifically asked: “I hope Fashola has provided them with alternative means of livelihood?”

Meanwhile, those with a recognized means of livelihood had their own grievances: @walegates and @ruggedman wondered why some show promoters would request that artistes perform and then be paid from gate takings. Another artiste, @BankyW, who was still in London after the NottingHill Carnival, was particularly pissed – but by a, er, bigger problem. His tweet read: “Four pounds for a tiny bottle of water? Now that’s raping us without Vaseline!” (Vaseline? Cough!)

What trended however was the release of new music videos from Dipp, Ibiyemi and Ego Ogbaro – yeah Lagbaja’s Ego is out at last!

Wednesday: On blackberries, at least on Wednesday, it was time for another mindless game. This time: up a picture of yourself without make-up as your avatar. Obviously for the girls…. and the, er, metrosexual men.

On Twitter though, the reality of the okada ban – which of course was implemented, Twitter rant and rave or not! – just began to hit. @exschoolnerd was having a frustrating day: “Cab from Dolphin to TBS at 1200? Dis man must be smoking bay leaf!” @kemiadetiba, who seems to be out of the country, evidently only got the memo. So she asked: “what’s going on with okadas? Someone pls give me gist.” A retweet from @stacymills: “no okadas in Lagos anymore. I am officially screwed!” @toptosyn was quick to remind them that the ban wasn’t on all routes though.

@234NEXT soon broke news about protesting ‘okada’ riders: “protesting motorcyclists block Lagos-Ibadan expressway at cement bus stop.” One person who couldn’t be bothered apparently was @steve_eko. His tweet? “So we are in September already? Na wa o. the year is what Nigerian is not – super fast.”

Thursday: You’ve got to love Nigerians. After calling down thunder and brimstone on Wednesday, they were going about their business once again as if nothing happened by Thursday. BB users (God, save the earth from those people) were challenging each other on who could change updates and avatars most frequently. So to Twitter, we turn.

Trending topic? #LiesMenTell for women and #LiesWomenTell for men. @walegates led the assault for the guys with tweets like #LiesWomenTell He is not my type and #LiesWomenTell My hair use to be longer than this. @mz411 (Beat FM’s Gbemi) took the charge of the ladies’ attack. Her tweets included: #LiesMenTell I am the one that broke up with her, #LiesMenTell I prefer your natural hair when the silly guy drools over Beyonce!

Ah, what would we ever do without therapy, sorry Twitter!

Friday: Really, you must think I am jobless if you expect Friday gist! I have a (non-BB, non-Twitter based) life thank you very mulsh! See you next week!

Oluwapelumi