Every day on the Nigerian Internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social issues, etc. Sometimes, they are just downright ridiculous. We make it our job to take down the names of these noisemakers.

Here’s our list from today:

1. Shehu Sani

Oh yea plebeian,collect thy belated cowries coined as ‘trader Moni’;thou shalt use it with wisely and prayerfully;But thou shalt not part with thy PVC and thou shalt not accept any invitation to flyth the Broomstick at night.

— Senator Shehu Sani (@ShehuSani) December 1, 2018

Bros, commend or condemn, pick a side. Stop talking from the side of your mouth with your pseudo-parables.

2. Chinyere

When women stop using oppressive and derogatory words on other women to make themselves seem more valuable, that’s when we’ll move forward

— Chinny aka Sadé (@Chinyeree__) December 1, 2018

3. Ayisha Osori

Horrible. Rape is a crime against anyone who has survived it.

What stories like this tell us is that the danger is within. the perpetrators of child abuse are typically close family & friends. We teach ‘stranger danger’ to children but we need to teach ‘friend danger’ too https://t.co/W2HKTVIdMj

— Ayisha Osori (@Naijavote) December 1, 2018

4. Miss Tee

I can say 2018 was a year of many challenges, recession and famine, being single and broke, heartbreak and tears, losing friends and relationships, SARS and dem boys, disappearance of penises and panties etc I hope the lessons we learnt stay with us to guide us through 2019 ??.

— Miss Tee (@aphrodi_tees) December 1, 2018

5. Wole

The person who came up with the Buhari x Jubril from Sudan theory is the grandchild of the person who came up with the India 99 – Nigeria 1 theory.

— Wᴏʟᴇ́ (@Kingwole) December 1, 2018

Where is the lie?

6. Adekunle Gold

Almost like there’s no greatness without Standing for something.

— AG (@adekunleGOLD) December 1, 2018

7. Biyi

The downfall of Blackberry Messenger (BBM) has disconnected many relationships and friendships

— Biyi The Plug ? (@Baddman20) December 1, 2018