Every day on the Nigerian Internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social issues, etc. Sometimes, they are just downright ridiculous. We make it our job to take down the names of these noisemakers.

Here are the ones we saw today:

I think postponement of elections at 230am should make it into ‘Nigeria’s top 10 historical acts of anyhowism’

Any other suggestions?

— Dr Ola Brown (Orekunrin) (@NaijaFlyingDr) February 18, 2019

Internet in Nigeria is horseshit.

— alaye nla. (@haywenzo) February 18, 2019

Welcome to Nigeria.

Thank you to all my friends and followers who have felicitated with me on my birthday. I do appreciate your warm greetings and show of love. However, any festivities will be postponed until after the elections. I cant see myself celebrating when the nation faces challenging times

— Ben Murray-Bruce (@benmurraybruce) February 18, 2019

APC: INEC is an independent. Neither the ruling party nor the president can influence INEC’s decisions.

Also APC: INEC is colluding with the opposition. INEC is not independent.

Ok. Shebi we all don’t know the gimmick of scattering the pieces when you’re losing the board game.

— Ayo Sogunro (@ayosogunro) February 18, 2019

What’re the origins of fatphobia?
Like why has the world decided to hate fat people?

— fiyinskosko (@fiyinskosko) February 16, 2019

Lmao I came at an older Nigerian for telling me I wasn’t Nigerian enough to understand what was happening in Nigeria (not identify, simple understand) and he hasn’t spoken to me since.

I think he thinks I’m going to apologise. ???

— Sexy Beast (@t3niola) February 18, 2019