Every day on the Nigerian internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social matters, etc. Sometimes, they are just downright ridiculous. We make it our job to take down the names of these noisemakers.

Here’s our list from today:

1. Mazi Ibe

The ‘knacks’ issue continues:

Secrets go just dey open left and right for this app. We go just dey here dey mind our business next thing we are reading about the knacks that happened before Buhari won election.

— Mazi Ibe (@I_pissVodka) July 6, 2018

The knack you’re planing to knack today might be Twitter topic 3 years to come.

Knack wisely

— ?? (@Naijirian) July 6, 2018

Consent has become an important issue and it is pertinent that we understand it before we go on with the ‘knacks’ – do not assume.

2. Chukwudebelu

If Abuja can deploy 30,000 police to Ekiti for elections, but police are nowhere to be found when calamity strikes in Zamfara, Benue and Plateau – one must wonder what Abuja's priorities are.

— Onye Nkuzi (@cchukudebelu) July 6, 2018

3. Umeh

They won’t listen now

If you truly know God, you won't let your hypocritical mind start deciding God's gender.
He didn't call you for that, but rather to spread love among humanity.

Don't let thunder fire you.

— Umeh and 99 others (@UmehOMA) July 6, 2018

They will prefer to be philosophical about everything and attempt to conceptualise it.

4. Alexander

If what you desire is a blissful, godly, growing, fresh, nurturing and romantic relationship, you must consciously make yourself fit for it.

You don't just stumble into a blissful relationship, rather, you work yourself into one.

— The Alexander Experience ✍️ (@MRtim__1911) July 6, 2018

Please shout this, shout! Do you need a loudspeaker?

The words on marble: “…you work yourself into one“.

5. Ali Baba

https://www.instagram.com/p/Bk4hEfjhQaL/?taken-by=alibabagcfr

6. Wale Ozolua

No! I don tire.

I have no idea how a lot of women do it.

Go to salon on a Saturday.

Pick the hairstyle.

Sit down.

Finish the hair and get up after three or four hours.

Use two days to decide if you like the hair.

Go back to the salon and do another one another Saturday. pic.twitter.com/gMeoS9Zwv2

— Wale Ozolua (@WaleOzolua) July 6, 2018

Maybe we should ask them or wait… is it your hair?

7. Pius Adesanmi

Phew, Saraki, is wasting no time o. That tweetstorm reaction to his victory at d SC is a presidential campaign. I think he is doing that cos he realizes that his greatest asset is that pple he has turned to boy scouts -Buhari & his followers – continue to badly underestimate him.

— Pius Adesanmi (@pius_adesanmi) July 6, 2018