Every day on the Nigerian internet, there are people who keep our eyes glued to our phone screens as we read their rants, opinions, perspectives on political and social matters, etc. Sometimes, they are just downright ridiculous. We make it our job to take down the names of these noisemakers.

Here’s our list from today:

1 El Rufai

Enthusiastic about proving to the masses that the government of Kaduna is truly working, Governor El Rufai tweeted:

Providing quality Educational is one of the priorities of this administration. We will continue working hard towards it. pic.twitter.com/SsmHz06TDy

— Governor Kaduna (@GovKaduna) July 20, 2017

Last year, Kaduna came 1st in the North and 4th in the whole country in both WAEC and NECO. We are working towards being 1st in Nigeria. pic.twitter.com/eqDezQ5yDu

— Governor Kaduna (@GovKaduna) July 20, 2017

2. Charles Effoduh

Thing is, that infomation El Rufai gave above is incorrect. This is the correct piece. And as you can see, the states with bragging rights are in the East.

Anambra Has Been 1st For The Past 12 Years Before 2016 (I Guess 2nd Isn't So Bad Too). But Why Has The State League Been Like This Tho? pic.twitter.com/w3OBdTabHh

— J.O. Effoduh (@effodu) July 20, 2017

That’s how Twitter NG rushed El Rufai

1 Abia
2 Anambra
3 Edo
4 Rivers
5 Imo
6 Lagos
7 Bayelsa
8 Delta
9 Enugu
10 Ebonyi
Kaduna wasn't even in top 10 in WAEC/NECO. LIAR!!! https://t.co/fIhBmEM0yY

— Igala_King (@i_am_Anomeli) July 20, 2017

Is lie Mohammed your mentor?

— merci (@nemi_tex) July 20, 2017

It is a heavy lie. You people are now hunting for achievements. Audio Governance; we de hear am we no de see am.

— Ndi Kato (@YarKafanchan) July 20, 2017

This is what is called a half truth.
First in the north – true.
4th in the country – nothing can be farther from the truth than that. ?

— VCE the SSA (@NotoriousVCE) July 20, 2017

Because you know your people won't fact-check pic.twitter.com/bi3QJpR26Q

— YOUR DADDY'S MAIN CHIC (@Babypeng_) July 20, 2017

Shame.

3. Andrew Alli

Random questions on Twitter generally throw up the most interesting answers. See below:

https://twitter.com/afalli/status/888098265597698048

Reactions:

A Davos of Billionaires?

— gidimeister (@gidimeister) July 20, 2017

A Quilox of Billionaires?

— gidimeister (@gidimeister) July 20, 2017

A stack of billionaires. Duh.

— Tweety Bird (@PurpletweetyB) July 20, 2017

A stack of billionaires. Duh.

— Tweety Bird (@PurpletweetyB) July 20, 2017

A Forbes of Billionaires.
A Cornered Market of Billionaires.
An Antitrust of Billionaires.
A Disruption of Biilionaires.

— orwelliANDYstopia (@andyRoidO) July 20, 2017

Evans of Billionaires
Davidos of Billionaires
Tinubus of Billionaires
Sarakis of Billionaires
The list is endless ??

— #TrollCabal Monitor (@TrollCabMonitor) July 20, 2017

I go with cabal. Final answer, cabal https://t.co/FyO5Q3TGTN

— Obano (@JUBRILKANOBA) July 20, 2017

Told ya.

 

4. Juliet Kego

You know how people tend to be at each others throat on Twitter? Juliet says sometimes, it’s all love. Pay attention:

Here's a toast to great minds who take their time to educate & enlighten us, by calling us out with civility & respect, even when we goof!??

— Juliet 'Kego (@julietkego) July 20, 2017

9 folks on these streets that have my utmost respect! Please when you see me in a seeming roforofo with them, just unlook, it's our style o?

— Juliet 'Kego (@julietkego) July 20, 2017

Not every debate/argument/exchange is a FIGHT of 'camps/cliques'. Some of us are best of friends and/or mutually respectful of one another.

— Juliet 'Kego (@julietkego) July 20, 2017

To avoid stories that touch o. If debate no concern you, don't take sides based on personalities & curse people/their ancestors. Na we we???

— Juliet 'Kego (@julietkego) July 20, 2017

Poverty mindset personalizes based on principals rather than focusing on issues/principles. Successful build bridges based on projects/ideas

— Juliet 'Kego (@julietkego) July 20, 2017

Gotcha.

6. Sam Thielman

Looks like Trump got snubbed by another world leader:

https://twitter.com/samthielman/status/887987198146097152

Looks like the First Lady of Japan pretended not to speak English for nearly 2 hrs to avoid talking to Trump https://t.co/ee9LGHVlDo

— Jessica Valenti (@JessicaValenti) July 20, 2017

Musta hurt.

 

7. Zainab Usman

Sad news:

???| Linkin Park Singer Chester Bennington Dead, Commits Suicide by Hanging | https://t.co/TLZBziPX6x https://t.co/cjAa7yzBSr

— Zainab Usman (@MssZeeUsman) July 20, 2017

Twitter mourns

Chester Bennington is dead?!!! ?

Fuuuuuckkkkkk!!!!!!

— Okang Ashiwel Ochui (@hey_ashiwel) July 20, 2017

Chester Bennington is dead? How????? How??????????

— Chidi Okereke (@Chydee) July 20, 2017

Why? Why? I don't believe this.

— Chidi Okereke (@Chydee) July 20, 2017

Please reach out to someone. Help is always there even when U think it isn't. RIP Chester Bennington

— Diane Warren (@Diane_Warren) July 20, 2017

Mental health is no joke. We have to destigmatize the conversation around it.

— pw (@petewentz) July 20, 2017

Bruv I can't lie I'm so upset serious 💔💔💔💔

— Stormzy (@stormzy) July 20, 2017

Rest in Peace to a legend. Probably the song most are familiar with https://t.co/XWmBqM9lHo

— Nicole (@NickiDupre) July 20, 2017

Only Linkin Park song I know.
Listened to it for years when I was in them black moods. #RIP https://t.co/TpwNonILvO

— Tolulọpẹ Aladire (@ToluBabyGirl) July 20, 2017

This collab was iconic. RIP Chester Bennington pic.twitter.com/k3zgo2grEL

— All Def Music (@AllDefMusic) July 20, 2017

RIP